Silent Flower
by EstrellaQueAdmiro
Summary: Dr and Mrs Cullen adopt sixteen year old Alice into their already large family after being involved in a car accident that kills her mother. Silent and refusing to speak, she struggles to fit into the family and finally feel at home.
1. Chapter 1

"Carlisle and I may adopting a new child," Esme said softly, "I know this will be a change for you all, but poor Alice really needs somewhere to stay."

My twin sister, Rosalie, sat up. She was expecting a toddler or something, "How old is she? I'll take care of her."

"She's sixteen, so only a year or two younger that all of you," Carlisle nodded. I looked over at my siblings. Emmett looked as if he would fall asleep. Rosalie had lost interest since realising she wouldn't have a little kid to play with. Edward looked jealous, not wanting another in the house. He always complained about the number of people in the house.

"She's been through a lot, so you all have to treat her nicely," Esme added, "Poor sweetheart. Carlisle treated her in hospital; she's been in a car accident and is still recovering."

"Where are her parents?" Edward asked, almost a little defensively.

"Her father passed away just before she was born. Her mother is in a coma after the accident, but she...we don't think she'll be alive much longer," Carlisle said solemnly.

"Her step father has been," Esme paused and looked at Carlisle, "Very abusive. She's very shaken up."

"We get it; we're not going to push her around, alright?" Rosalie stood up and placed her hands on her hips, "We'll treat her like we would each other,"

"That's what I was afraid of," Esme rolled her eyes, "Just be accepting. After all she's been through, she doesn't like to talk, so don't pressure her to say anything."

I felt bad for this girl. We'd had such a cushy life, and she seemed to have had the complete opposite? I'd always admired Carlisle and Esme for all they did for us. They'd taken us in from the goodness of their hearts, and raised us as their own. Now they were taking in a girl, clearly so damaged from her past, and I was sure they'd give her nurturing and affection to get her back on track.

We were dismissed, but all stopped when Esme made an announcement.

"Emmett," she gently took his arm, "We just wanted you to know...Alice is your half sister."

We all watched Emmett for his reaction. He froze for a moment, but then frowned, unable to take it in.

"She's two years younger than me, how did I not know this? I thought my mom was ill!"

"I have no idea what happened with your mom, but she had Alice and raised her," Carlisle explained, "She got a violent new boyfriend that took out his anger on Alice and herself. Police suspect that car accident was down to him."

Emmett displayed an expression I'd never seen in him before. He was struggling to come to terms with the news, and he was usually good at hiding his pain and anguish. He looked over at Rosalie, to Esme, and back to Carlisle.

"I can arrange for you to see your mother, if that is what you want."

Emmett shook his head and went upstairs, Rosalie following at his heels.

Rosalie was my twin, and we had been orphaned at the age of just six months. Esme was a close friend of our mother's, and took us on immediately. Shortly after our arrival into the family, Emmett was born to a critically ill woman, who was rushed to intensive care the moment the cord was cut. Carlisle had called Esme, telling her of the new baby boy who would most likely need a new home. Despite the challenge of young twins, Esme accepted but insisted he consulted the mother beforehand. Before he'd even touched on the subject to the mother, she begged for him to find a home for her son, as she only wanted the best for him. Carlisle updated her on Emmett's progress, but over time she soon lost interest. Being the most naturally maternal woman on the planet, Esme took to mothering three babies instantly and effortlessly, doting on us all equally.

The reason Esme had welcomed us into her home as her own was because she had been told multiple times she was unable to have children. When we were old enough, she told us of the money her and Carlisle had spent on fertility treatments, all for them to fail. She had told us this had upset her greatly, until she found us. Miraculously, when we were all around one year old and Esme had felt there was no need to try for her own baby anymore, she discovered she was pregnant with Edward, her only biological child. They'd promised us that they would never discriminate us or treat us any differently, and they kept to their word. Genetics didn't matter, they loved us all unconditionally.


	2. Chapter 2

It was arranged for Alice to have a trial day at our house to see how she settled, and to help her decide if she wanted to stay. Esme began removing things from Edward's room, and an argument ensued right outside my study.

"You have no right to touch my things!" Edward snapped, and I heard him snatch something back from Esme.

"Alice has to have her own room, you'll have to share with Emmett," Esme said blatantly.

"Why me?" Edward demanded.

"Jasper has the smallest room in the house, Rosalie can't share with a boy. Emmett has the biggest room, big enough for two people," Esme said softly, remaining calm, "Where can Alice sleep if you won't kindly give up your room?"

"Jasper's study. How come he gets a study and no one else does? Put her in there," Edward ordered. I wouldn't have been surprised if he threw a tantrum like he used to. I glared at my desk. Although I had no problem with Alice, and would make an effort to help her settle into our home, I didn't want to give up my study. It had all my books, my memories in it. My desk was my place to study at my leisure. My study was my haven, something I wasn't prepared to forfeit.

"Jasper's bedroom is _tiny_, Edward! He needed extra space for his things. You need to be more welcoming to your possible new sister," Esme sighed, "Come on."

After a few moments of Edward giving in and moving his things, a voice boomed.

"Like Hell is he moving into my room!"

Rolling my eyes, I placed my head on the desk.

Just a day before she was due to arrive; Alice had taken the time to write us a letter. Carlisle returned home from work, handing me an envelope.  
"Alice wrote this for us in hospital. She's excited to meet you all," he smiled, going to take his bags to his office. I sat on the couch in the living room, examining the envelope. _The Cullen Family_ was printed neatly on the envelope, and I opened it carefully.

_Dear Cullen Family, _

_ Thank you for offering to accept me into your family. I'm very grateful, and I hope to have a new, fresh start. I'm very excited to meet you all. I've never had any siblings before, so it will be all very new to me. I've never known my father, and I've never had a father figure to look up to. My mother raised me well, but she struggled to look after me because she's sick and has..._

_I was born in Mississippi, but moved near Forks when I was ten. I'm sixteen now, and I'm tutored at home because I was bullied a lot at school. I hope my tutoring can continue, as I'm uncomfortable in school._

_I'm sorry if you struggle to communicate with me to begin with. I try to write things down to talk, but sometimes I have too much to say and it takes a while. I won't be offended if you don't understand what I'm trying to say. At the end of every day I always express my feelings my writing about what has happened in the day in my diary. I prefer it to stay private, as it's very personal to me. _

_I hope we get along well, I think I'll enjoy my time with you._

_Alice Brandon._

I smiled a little at the note, written so formally and politely. She seemed so good-natured, completely undeserving of the things she must have experienced. I took the letter to Esme, who was typing at the computer.

"What have you got for me, honey?" Esme smiled, seeming to forget I was seventeen and not seven.

"Alice wrote a letter," I replied slowly, rolling my eyes a little and placing the envelope in front of her. I watched her as she read, observing the smile grow on her face.

"She's such a sweetheart," she sighed happily, "I visited her earlier today. She's such a pretty girl too. You'll all love her, I'm sure. She's so kind, a heart of gold. Very accepting, despite what she's been through. As soon as Carlisle introduced me, a huge smile appeared and she reached to shake my hand."

Esme smiled fondly at the memory, "I do hope she'll want to stay with us."

"I look forward to meeting her," I nodded, going back to my study almost silently.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Carlisle and Esme both went to collect Alice and her few belongings. We all waited patiently on the couch, waiting to hear the car pull up into the drive. The sound finally arrived, and all four of us stood up and made our way to the door. Rosalie stood right at the front, looking so excited she could burst. Emmett leaned against the wall beside her, most likely interested to see his sister. Edward stood in front of me; despite how he'd made it plain he disliked Alice for stealing his room.

Carlisle came in first, carrying two suitcases. We parted to either sides of the corridor to let him past. Guided by Esme's arm was the tiniest sixteen year old I'd ever seen. She was at least six inches smaller than me, at least half the size of Emmett. Not only was she small, she was thin as well, so fragile looking that it seemed she would shatter if touched. Her features were dainty and pixielike, and her eyes were big and brown. They reminded me of Bambi.

"Now, Alice, this is Rosalie," Esme pointed to my twin. Alice held out her hand, and Rosalie gently shook it.

"It's great to finally meet you!" she smiled, and Alice smiled shyly in return.

"This is Emmett, sweetie, he's your half brother. I told you about him, do you remember?" Esme said softly. Alice thought for a moment, and then nodded and smiled, holding her hand out enthusiastically. Instead of a polite handshake, Alice found herself in one of Emmett's huge bear hugs. She was clearly unsettled by this, her eyes wide as she struggled and whimpered quietly. Emmett placed her back on her feet, looking a little sheepish.

"Emmett, she's not a toy," Esme scolded, gently rubbing Alice's back, "This is Edward."

She shook his hand and smiled politely, then looked at me. She stared at me for a while, a smile growing on her face. She shook my hand gently before my introduction, taking a while to let go.

"And this is Jasper. He's Rosalie's twin brother."

Alice looked back at Rosalie, and then me.

"They don't look very alike, I know," Esme said, laughing quietly. Alice nodded, an adorable smile appearing on her face.

"We'll show you to your room," Esme said softly, taking Alice's hand and leading her upstairs. Alice looked back at me, and then went upstairs with Esme.

"She looks like an attention seeker to me," Rosalie muttered, despite her overly-friendly exterior towards Alice.

"Rose," Emmett frowned, "You try going through what she did!"

"Only because she's your sister!" Rosalie snapped, "You wouldn't care otherwise!"

"Leave her alone, Rosalie," I shook my head, going upstairs to my study. Esme came out of Alice's room, next door to mine.

"Jasper," she smiled softly, "Alice is just settling in her room, but keep an eye on her for me. I think she likes you!"

"Sure," I nodded, going into my study.

I spent at least an hour writing an essay for school, when I heard my door open. Alice was peeking from behind the door, watching me.

"Hey," I murmured, and she backed away, out of sight.

"No, no, you can come in, darlin'," I smiled, and she tiptoed into the room almost silently. She stood in the middle of the room, looking around and looking a little lost.

"Sit wherever you like," I nodded, and she sat in the corner, her knees drawn to her chest. I was going to tell her she could sit closer, but she seemed reasonably comfortable where she was.

"Do you want me to get you anything?" I offered, but Alice shook her head.

"I could show you around?" I smiled a little. Alice began to nod, but changed her mind and shook her head. She stood and glided silently to my desk, pointing to my essay.

"I can do that later, it's no trouble at all!" I smiled at her. Alice cracked a small smile, reaching and taking my hand.

"First of all, this is my study. My bedroom's next door. You can use my study if you like. I don't let the others near it, but I know you'd respect it," I chuckled quietly, "Rosalie's room is down there. Best not to go in there."

Alice nodded, pointing to the flight of stairs to the next point.

"I'm getting there," I laughed, leading her upstairs.  
"That's Edward and Emmett's room," I pointed to the door, where my two brothers were bickering loudly and deciding who had the bigger "side" of the room, "You have Edward's room."

Alice's eyes widened in fear, clearly worrying that she'd upset him.

"It's alright. Edward told him he had to. He doesn't mind," I said a little untruthfully, "That's Carlisle's office, and his and Esme's room next door. The living room and kitchen are downstairs. That's all, I guess."

Alice suddenly threw her arms around me, hugging me tight. I smiled, a little taken aback, then relaxed and hugged her back.

"You're welcome," I murmured, and she went back to her room, shutting the door quietly. I went downstairs as well, going past her room to get to mine. I hesitated a moment by her door. I could hear tiny sniffles and sobs, muffled by what I guessed to be her pillow. I was unsure whether to disturb her, and went back to my essay.


	4. Chapter 4

We were called down to dinner, and Alice ran down instantly, as if she would be punished if she didn't get there in five seconds. By the time I arrived, Alice was sitting at the table with a plate, containing a tiny portion of food. She grinned at me when she saw me.

"Jasper," Esme smiled, giving me a plate with a regular sized portion.

"Thanks," I nodded, sitting down at my usual spot at the table. Alice looked at me for a while, pointing at the seat beside her. At Rosalie's spot.

"You want Jasper to sit there?" Esme smiled, and Alice nodded, pointing to the other chair beside her. Esme and I complied with her request, sitting either side of Alice. Rosalie wasn't impressed.

"Jasper, move," she ordered.

"Rose, just sit there. Alice wanted us to sit with her. Be polite, she's our guest," Esme said quietly. Alice looked bewildered, beginning to stand up.

"No, no, sweetie. You stay there, there's no problem," Esme placed her hand on Alice's shoulder. Alice slowly sat down again, staring at her knees. Rosalie reluctantly sat down as well, and we were shortly joined by Edward and Emmett, still arguing, and Carlisle. I noticed Alice look up at Rosalie and smile at her, an attempt of friendliness towards her. My sister, being her usual self, rolled her eyed rudely and refused to acknowledge Alice's gesture. Alice sighed softly, but no one seemed to notice.

After dinner, I decided to be sociable and stay downstairs with my brothers. Rosalie had disappeared the moment we were excused, probably still sulking over the chair situation. Alice was about to go upstairs as well, but Emmett made a kind offer.

"Hey, Alice, why don't you stay here with us and hang out?" he said, his voice unusually gentle and soft. Alice smiled and nodded, skipping lightly to the couch and sitting down. Her tiny feet tucked under her legs neatly. Emmett sat beside her, and then reached his arms to her.

"May I?" he murmured, and she nodded, giggling quietly. Emmett lifted her onto his knee, making her look like a toddler compared to his size.

"Is our mom okay?" he asked. Alice froze, her Bambi eyes sparkling with tears and her sweet face crumpling. She made little sniffling noises, accompanied with tiny gulps. Edward stared at her from across the room, and Emmett looked overwhelmed with guilt.

"Oh, hey, I'm sorry," he sighed, wrapping his arms around her, "I didn't want to upset you."

She buried her head in his shoulder, whimpering and sniffling quietly. I was sure she whispered, "Mommy".

"What's going on?" Esme appeared in the room. It was almost as if she had sensed Alice crying, as she was too quiet to hear from the kitchen. She noticed Alice instantly, and knelt by her and Emmett.

"Alice! What's happened, sweetheart? Who upset her?"

"I asked how our Mom was," Emmett confessed a little sadly, "I didn't mean to upset her."

Esme sighed a little, gently stroking Alice's hair. Alice curled her fingers around Emmett's shirt, clinging to him.

"Alice, would you like to go visit your Mom?" Esme asked, "There's no problem if you do. You're welcome to see her whenever you like."

Alice looked up; her pretty eyes red and her flawless skin tear-stained. She took Esme's hand and got up, and Emmett went upstairs instantly. I went upstairs to my study.

I found a little note by my desk, on the floor, from Alice. I couldn't work out when she put it there, but I shrugged the thought from my mind and read it.

_Jasper, _

_ Thank you for being so nice to me. I've never really had any friends. The only person that ever loved me was my Mom, and now she can't. Your kindness means a lot to me, and if staying with your family doesn't work out, I'd like to keep in touch. I appreciate how you welcomed me into your home and let me into your study. No one's ever been nice to me like that._

_Alice._

I smiled to myself, feeling good that my actions had touched her so much. I put the note in the box I saved for only a select few items, sitting at my desk and subconsciously spinning in my desk chair.

Alice didn't get back until late, returning while I was in the shower. I vaguely heard the front door shut over the roar of the water. I heard her come upstairs and into her room, but got a shock as she walked straight into the bathroom. I hadn't locked the door, which I didn't usually do anyway. Only Edward and I used it, and we had devised a rota to avoid situations like that one. We both gasped, my response being grabbing the nearest towel in sight to cover myself. Alice slowly turned bright red, a tear streaming down her cheek as she disappeared from the room.

Once I was dry and clothed, and went to her room and gently knocked on the door.

"Alice," I said quietly, "Can I come in?"

The door was pulled open from the inside, but I heard Alice leap onto her bed. As I entered the room, I saw her shrink into the corner. She looked petrified.

"Are you alright?" I said in concern. Alice sniffled, the tears beginning to flow again. She wrote on a little notebook, handing me the paper.

_You won't want me here anymore_.

"No, no!" I shook my head, "It was an accident. My fault for not locking the door."

_I'm sorry_.

"It's alright," I smiled, "Don't worry about it, I'm not mad at you, I promise."

Alice stood up, approaching me cautiously and hugging me tight. I stroked her hair gently, kissing her forehead and kneeling down to her level.

"We want you to stay here. You don't have to worry about little mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes."

Alice rested her head on my chest, writing in her notebook.

_My Mom's getting worse._

"I'm sorry to hear that," I sighed, and she clung to me in a hug.

_I want to go to bed._

I nodded, standing up, "Alright. I'm right here if you need me."

Alice wiped her eyes and nodded.

"Goodnight," I smiled a little, and Alice waved. I smiled to myself as she left, putting all her notes in a drawer.


	5. Chapter 5

I woke at about midnight and was surprised to hear some quiet, soft breathing nearby. I wasn't the paranormal believing type, and so I sat up to look for a logical explanation. I found Alice curled up on the floor in a tight ball with her bed covers. Her knees almost touched her chin.

"Alice?" I whispered almost silently, and in the gloom I saw Alice's eyes fly open. She sat bolt upright in a panic.

"Are you alright?" I said quietly, but by this time she had hidden herself behind her bed covers, just her bambi eyes peeking out.

"Hey, it's alright," I smiled a little, although she couldn't see, "I'm not mad at you."

Alice came a little closer, her movements completely silent.

"You couldn't sleep?" I asked, and Alice shook her head.

"You can stay in here if you like," I offered, and Alice shook her head again, standing up and beginning to drag her things back towards her room.

"No, no," I went after her and touched her shoulder, "It's alright."

Alice smiled, her teeth glinting a little in the minimal light. She settled down on the floor, cuddling close with her blankets.

"Have my bed," I nodded towards it and Alice sat up again, shaking her head.

"I don't mind, honestly," I whispered, removing my bedding from it. Alice turned into a statue for a moment, staring at the bed and not seeming to blink. After a few minutes, she finally agreed, clambering into my bed. I managed to get myself comfortable on the floor. Luckily, the carpet was reasonably soft.

I woke again to find Alice beside me, her hand clinging to me. The other hand clutched at a small stuffed rabbit. I smiled a little, not having the heart to wake her or get back into my own bed. She curled into a ball, her arms wrapping around my arm and hugging it close.

"Mommy," she whispered softly in her sleep. Her voice was high pitched and sweet, but I'd expected nothing less from such a tiny creature. I gently stroked her hair. She opened her eyes, looking up at me.

"Get some sleep," I murmured, "Did you dream about her?"

Alice nodded her eyes wide as she stared up at me, bewildered. She cuddled my arm close, and I fell asleep relatively easy.

Morning came and Alice was gone. Her pillows, bedding, all trace of her sleeping in my room had gone. I considered for a moment that I'd dreamt it.

Alice was already downstairs when I came down, and smiled at me shyly. She was following Esme around the kitchen, helping make breakfast.

"Good morning, Jasper, honey," Esme smiled, "I have a little helper today!"

Alice giggled quietly, getting a box of eggs from the refrigerator.

"Now, Jasper likes fried eggs, with the yolk soft. Do you want me to help you?" Esme smiled at her encouragingly. Alice wrote on a piece of paper.

_I've never cooked before. I'd like to learn._

"Never before?" Esme repeated. Alice nodded, writing more.

_He cooked everything and I had to always eat everything or he'd..._

Esme pulled her close and kissed her cheek, "You don't have to worry about that anymore," she whispered, "We won't force you into anything. If you choose to stay here, I'll teach you to cook whenever you like."

Alice nodded eagerly, scribbling something down as if she couldn't do it fast enough.

_I want to stay here. I don't want to go back to the home._

"As long as you're happy here, you're already part of our family. But you might have to go back to the home while paperwork is finished. We're only an email or Skype call away, sweetheart."

_They steal my things, _Alice had wide eyes. _They hurt me._

"Can't she stay here?" I leaned against the kitchen counter. Alice was clinging to Esme like a child would, while Esme gently stroked her hair.

"I'll see what I can do," Esme whispered softly, and gently rubbed Alice's shoulder, "We'd better start breakfast, or the animals will get grumpy!"

Alice giggled, nodding but not letting go of Esme's arm.

"That's better. I prefer to see your beautiful smile, "Esme kissed her cheek, "Now, the frying pan's over there, if you'll get that for me."

**Hey guys! Sorry for the abrupt ending. There is more to come, as I'm at least a chapter or two ahead on paper, but I'm in a bit of a rush, and this chapter would end up being very very long if I carried on until the natural end. I don't like having more than about 2000 words a chapter and I think it would overshoot that! Anyway, the next chapter or two will be written up tomorrow **

**Thanks for all the review s and feedback, I really appreciate it! 3**


	6. Chapter 6

Alice went and got a frying pan, and Esme gave her an egg.

"Now, crack the egg on the side of the pan, and then let the contents drop into it," Esme instructed quietly. Alice stared at her egg for a while, but hit it so hard against the edge of the pan that it smashed completely, the contents covering her hand and the floor. She leapt back almost a foot, her face looking as if she'd just discovered a corpse inside the egg. Her eyes sparkled with newly formed tears.

"Hey, hey, Alice," Esme said softly, in an attempt to calm her down, "It's alright."

She scribbled on a piece of paper, still with egg covered hands.

_I'm really sorry. I didn't mean it. I didn't listen properly. It's my fault. I always do everything wrong._

"No, sweetheart," Esme kissed Alice's cheek softly, holding her by the shoulders, "I didn't explain right. It's not your fault. Don't worry about it."

The phone rang, and Esme grabbed it and began to leave the room.

"Jasper, help Alice start breakfast," she ordered, running upstairs to her room for privacy.

"Sure," I got up from my stool, going to the cooker. Alice stared at me, non-moving.

"Do you want to wash your hands?" I nodded towards the kitchen sink. Alice nodded slowly, washing her hands thoroughly.

_Show me._

I picked up an egg, "Just tap it gently, like this," I gently tapped the egg on the edge of the pan until a small crack formed, then opened the contents into the pan. Alice cautiously picked up another egg, staring at it fearfully. After a few seconds, she decided against trying to crack it herself. She held it out to me.

"I'll help you," I chuckled, going closer to her. I placed my hand over hers on the egg, guiding it to the pan and assisting her in tapping it gently. Gaining confidence, Alice pulled the shell apart and allowed the contents to drop onto the frying pan. She grinned with pride, giving one last sniffle.

"Try one on your own," I leaned against a kitchen cabinet, watching her. Alice took the smallest remaining egg from the box, cracking it gently and dropping the egg white and yolk perfectly into the pan.

"Good job, darlin'," I smiled, and Alice giggled, her cheeks blushing prominently. Esme returned to the kitchen to find three perfectly fried eggs and three more in the process of cooking.

"They look great!" she smiled at us both, "Nice work."

"I only cracked the first egg. The rest was all down to Alice," I told her, smiling at the little one smiling uncontrollably, "You're a good cook!"

Alice's dark brown eyes gleamed with excitement from all the praise, clearly not used to such treatment. Esme hugged her gently.

"Well done, sweetheart. I'm sure everyone's going to love it!" she smiled, and Alice just carried on smiling.

Alice picked things up incredibly quickly. After the eggs, we only had to show her how to do things once, and she got it right away. She ended up making most of the breakfast, she was so enthusiastic. yes

"You know what you deserve?" Esme gently ruffled Alice's short, spiky hair, "And extra glass of juice!"

Alice giggled, beginning to blush again and shaking her head.

_I don't want it to be unfair of the others. Thank you for the offer._

"Aww, it's sweet of you to consider them," Esme smiled, "Oh! I need to make Carlisle his coffee.

Alice leapt up, but Esme laughed.

"No, no, sweetheart. It's very kind of you, but go and relax with the others while I get the last of breakfast ready."

Alice nodded, taking my hand and following me to the living room.

Edward barely looked up to acknowledge us, and Rosalie made a point of ignoring us. Emmett smiled at her.

"Hey, little sis," he smiled, and took her onto his knee. She cuddled close to him, closing her eyes and smiling. I sat by them, and Alice looked over and grinned at me, beginning to squeal quietly as Emmett started tickling her.

"Breakfast!" Esme called, and Alice ran straight to the table before any of us had the chance to get up.

Once we were all seated, Rosalie having to move once again, Esme gently took Alice's hand.

"Now, this breakfast today is all thanks to our very special guest, Alice. So I expect you all to be respectful. Today she has to tell her social worker whether or not she'd like to stay here, and I just want to say that, Alice, whatever happens, it's been wonderful having such a sweetheart like you here, and I hope you've liked it here too."

Alice nodded, smiling a little tearfully in response. Before anyone, apart from myself, could notice, she wiped all the tears away and began to eat with a visible expression of pride on her face.


	7. Chapter 7

A knock at the door made Alice jump lightly. She dropped a piece of bacon fat, and before she could gingerly pick it up, Emmett bent down and grabbed it, eating it despite it being Alice's, and on the floor.

"Emmett, please," Carlisle frowned, "Table manners."

Alice giggled quietly as Esme went to answer the door. Emmett winked at her playfully.

"Alice, your social worker's here," Esme came and stood behind Alice's chair.

Alice smiled, but her eyes told a different story. They were wide, terrified, and her whole body had tensed. She looked as if she was prepared to run away.

A strict looking woman in a tight black suit and ridiculously high heels entered the dining room.

"Alice, you need to come with me for a meeting about your accommodation," she said briskly, clapping her hands twice, "Come on."

Alice stood up instantly, half way out of the kitchen before Esme cut in.

"Can't she finish her breakfast?" she put her arm around Alice's shoulders.

"Not really. Come along, Alice, get your things and let's go."

"Jasper, go help Alice pack up her things," Esme nodded to me. I nodded in response, following Alice as she darted upstairs. She took a tiny soft toy and stuffed it into her pocket, then gave her other one to me. She then got her photo of her and her mom, and gave that to me as well. Several minutes later, and she's given me a few pieces of clothing and a pile of other things.

She stared at me hard and meaningfully, and I understood her wishes.

"I'll keep everything safe for you, I promise," I smiled at her softly, putting the things in an empty draw in my dresser and returning to her. Upon my return, Alice flew at me, clinging to me tight and letting out a small whimper.

"Hey, it's alright, darlin'," I murmured, "You'll be back here soon, I'm sure."

"Alice!" the social worker yelled, and she disappeared back downstairs. I carried her bags down behind her.

"Thanks," the social worker said dismissively as she took the bags from me. She went out to the car, and Alice took this opportunity to say goodbye to everyone. She went to Carlisle first, hugging him tight and resting her head on his chest. She was too tiny to reach his shoulder. He kissed her cheek, gently patting her back.

"We'll see you soon," he smiled warmly, and Alice gave him a small envelope. Esme was next on her list, hugging her and also giving her an envelope. She dropped envelopes by Rosalie and Edward, not wasting her time by attempting to hug them, and was grabbed up into a bear hug by Emmett. She giggled childishly.

"Take care, Alice," Emmett smiled, and Alice playfully poked his nose and gigged. He chuckled, kissing her forehead and letting her go, "Say hey to mom for me."

Alice nodded silently, successfully masking the emotions that would have normally been released in response to her mom.

"Alice, we're leaving right now!" the social worker came in, just as Alice went to hug me. I ruffled her hair a little, accepting my envelope before she was dragged away by her arm. I heard her whimper quietly. Esme went to wave her off, and I went upstairs. I'd lost my appetite, walking up to my room without being excused. I vaguely heard Carlisle calling me back.

I sat in my room with the envelope, opening it to read Alice's letter.

_Jasper, _

_ Thank you very much for being so nice to me. I'm going to miss you, but I hope I'll be able to move in with your family. I've never met anyone like you before, but that's a good thing. Not many people find it easy to talk to me, but you do. I'm sorry if I annoyed you when I slept in your room. I struggle sleeping in unfamiliar places, and I felt safe with you there with me. I've never had a room on my own before, and I don't really like it. It would have been strange if I had shared Carlisle and Esme's bed. I like them a lot, but if Esme knew I shared your bed, I'm scared she'd make a big fuss over me about it. Please don't tell her._

_I most likely would have given you some of my things to keep safe. I know you'll keep them safe. I'm sure. Thank you for looking after me. It really means a lot. I'm going to tell my mom about you when I see her in hospital. I only whisper. She's the only one I can talk to properly, because she's in a coma and can't read my letters._

_I'm scared something will happen._

_Thank you for being there for me._

_Alice Brandon._

She had drawn a small heart by her name.

"Jasper, sweetheart?" Esme stood in my doorway, "Are you alright?"

"I hope Alice will be alright," I sighed, "She looked terrified."

"I'm sure she'll be alright. She'll only be there a day or two," Esme sat on my bed.

"She gave me a lot of her things to keep safe for her. She's scared they'll be taken," I shook my head a little.

"She wrote about you in her letter to me," Esme smiled, showing me a part of it.

_I think you and Carlisle are amazing people for bringing up four children, and I think you've done a great job. Especially with Jasper. He's the nicest person I've ever met. No one's accepted me like he has, and I hope we can be good friends. I can't thank him enough for his kindness, and I think this is down to you and Carlisle for bringing him up so well._

I couldn't help but smile at her words. I almost wanted to keep Esme's letter for myself.

"You know what I think would make her feel better while she waits for the paperwork to clear?" Esme smiled, "You should go visit her. I'll give them a call and ask if you can. Maybe you could take her out somewhere."

I nodded, my smile unyielding, "I'd like that."

Esme went to call the social worker a few hours after Alice had left, in order to give time for the meeting to end. She came up to my room and smiled.

"You can go over there now. Want me to drive you?"

"No, thanks," I shook my head, "Rosalie's still reeling from not being the only girl in the house, you should pay her some attention to calm her down."

I grinned mischievously, and Esme laughed, "Have fun."

She kissed my cheek, and then allowed me to go down to the garage.

**Thanks SO much for all the great feedback for this story! I think I got the idea from the Little Mermaid – when Ariel loses her voice and has to communicate to Prince Eric in different ways. Just a bit of trivia for you :P Anyways, next chapter is in ALICE'S point of view, so you all get to see how she's thinking as she can't say it herself!**


	8. Chapter 8

Alice

I clung to the trunk to keep me steady. I had to stay quiet. If they saw me, they'd try and push the tree over of something. They'd tried to climb the tree before, but had been very unsuccessful. If they didn't push the tree over, they'd get the slingshot for sure.

I heard them running below me, the younger ones. They wouldn't do much, maybe kick me a bit. Too scared to cause real damage, in fear of punishment from the care workers. They were the scouts, looking for the target set by the older kids. I'd always been the target, ever since I first arrived when I was eleven. I'd been and gone from there several times, but every time I returned I was put through hell by them all.

My mom was the reason for my unsettled home. Every time she reunited with her boyfriend, I was taken away. He didn't like me, and he made sure I was aware of that. I was a waste of space, a distraction from his soul mate, even though his "soul mate" was his personal punch bag. There was nothing worse than seeing your own mother be beaten in front of you.

I went home with my mom every time she broke up with him, and I was relieved to get away from the torments of the care home. My stays didn't last long, as it was only a matter of time before he wormed his way back into Mom's life. Mom tried her hardest to keep her reformed relationship a secret, but she was always caught. I know she loved me. I know she did. She only wanted me with her, and I wanted to be with her just as much. I loved her so much, but I didn't like how she picked him over my safety. He'd hit me a lot, once even giving me a concussion. I stopped talking after that, when I was twelve. Anything I said would most likely provoke him in some way, and so I found it difficult to trust myself with talking.

I saw a car pull up in the drive, and I grinned in relief. Jasper had come to save me. I really liked him; he understood me and didn't treat me like a freak. Everyone else treated me like I was a mental patient or a little kid, most likely because they were scared of upsetting me. I was quite sensitive, and I was terrified of doing things wrong and letting people down, but I didn't appreciate people approaching me with caution. I wasn't an explosive.

My social worker approached him and greeted him, welcoming him to the home. She reassured him I would have a great time while I was here, but it was great of him to see me. I only agreed with the last part.

"She's outside playing with some of the other children," she said, and I rolled my eyes. She'd seen me running, and assumed it was some kind of game. I wasn't playing, "I'm not sure where she is. Go look for her."

Jasper nodded and ventured into the large grounds, and some of the younger boys ran over to him as he just walked past my tree.

"Have you seen a girl?" the smallest kid demanded. He was only six, but he was the worst. He certainly wasn't afraid of throwing his small weight around.

"What girl?" Jasper frowned, looking around him. His gaze went past me, something which relieved but annoyed me. I was glad I was well hidden, but worried that he'd not find me.

"Her name's Alice. She's really lame. She doesn't talk or do anything, and she hides all the time. We looking for her so we can teach her a lesson!" one of the other little kids chirped, "She's really small and her hair is short and black."

"Oh," Jasper looked up again and saw me. I was sure he had, he was staring right at me! I shook my head frantically at him, and he seemed to understand, "She ran that way."

He pointed towards the end of the garden, and they all immediately set off in that direction.

"You can come down now, darlin'," Jasper said softly. He made sure he wasn't too loud so he didn't attract attention. I looked down and found the nearest branch too far away for my short legs to reach. I clung to the tree trunk again, whimpering in panic. I didn't want to risk falling.

"Come on, they might come back," Jasper beckoned quickly, "I'm taking you out."

I longed to write a note to ask for help. I had an urge to shout to him that I was stuck, but I was too afraid that he'd get mad at me and leave. I felt tears coming to my eyes as I became convinced no one would help me. I was so busy picturing outside for the rest of my life that I hadn't noticed Jasper climbing up to rescue me.

"Put your arms around my neck," he said softly, and I obeyed immediately. I buried my head in his shoulder, allowing him to lift me with one arm.

"I've got you," he soothed as I quivered, both with the cold, and fear, "Do you have a jacket? You're frozen."

I shook my head, pointing to the tatter on the ground from the other day. The older kids thought it would be funny to steal some of my clothes and destroy them. Jasper sighed and shook his head, getting us safely onto the ground and removing his jacket. He placed it around my shoulders.

"I'll buy you one," he said softly, his brown eyes looking into mine. My heart fluttered a little, and I couldn't help smiling.

If I had the money, I'd want to go shopping. I needed some nice clothes. I'd make Jasper keep them in his room until I moved in, to keep them safe and nice.

He set me down onto my feet, and I took his hand for security.

"There she is!" the smallest kid shrieked, and I clutched at Jasper's hand in terror. I ran at my fastest, Jasper taken by surprise at being dragged behind me. He got me into his car, and the stampede halted, watching us drive away in defeat. I curled up on my seat, quivering in fear.

"It's alright. They're gone," Jasper looked at me sympathetically, "You'll be out of there in no time."

I nodded sadly, staring straight ahead. We made a quick stop at his home to ask Esme for suggestions on where to go. I was happy to see that house again. It was so _big. _Esme practically leapt on me.

"Oh, sweetie! I missed you so much!" she gushed, although I'd only left about three hours ago, "I missed that beautiful smile of yours."

I giggled, resting my head on her shoulder as she held me close.

"Where would you like to go today, sweetheart? It's all up to you. Shopping, the beach, the forest, maybe a pizza?"

I looked up at Jasper, then back at Esme. I hated making decisions. I wanted to do everything, I loved the beach, shopping was my favourite thing, I liked walking in the forests, and I really liked pizza. I didn't want to be difficult.

Esme's red earrings sparkled and clinked as she tipped her head to the side and waited for an answer. I wanted to have my ears pierced, but my mom wouldn't let me. Maybe I'd ask Esme when I moved in.

After a few minutes of daydreaming about what earrings I would get, I took my notepad from my pocket. I sighed forlornly as I realised I'd forgotten my best pen, but Esme handed me one promptly. I smiled at her in gratitude.

_I like Port Angeles, my mom took me there a few times. I like the shops there._

"I think we can do that," Esme smiled, taking some money from her purse.

_I can't take your money._

I shook my head, but Esme placed the wad of $20 bills in my hand.

"Take it, sweetheart. It's no trouble at all."

I was going to refuse, but I knew she wouldn't take no for an answer. I gave in and wrote a quick _Thank You _before taking the money.

"You're very welcome," she smiled, and then kissed my forehead, "Go have fun, you two."

I grabbed Jasper's hand and giggled, skipping towards the garage. On the way there, we passed Edward. I waved at him lightly and smiled, hoping to get a positive response. Rosalie and Edward's letters had been similar, as I hadn't got to know them at all. I hoped we could be friends, although Rosalie didn't seem to like me much. I wasn't sure why, but I was too scared to approach her and ask. She came across as very fierce, and that frightened me. Edward smiled at me.

"Thanks for the letter," he nodded, and I nodded back. Jasper smiled at him.

"Let's go, darlin'," Jasper said softly, opening the car door for me. I slid onto the immaculate leather seat, watching eagerly from the window as we set off.


	9. Chapter 9

Alice reminded me of a little puppy in the car. Her nose was practically pressed to the window, watching the surroundings go by with major interest.

"Are you alright there, darlin'?" I chuckled, and Alice sat back in her seat with her hands on her legs.

"I didn't tell you to stop," I gave her a quick reassuring glance. Alice relaxed, but didn't look out the window. She began to look bored.

"My phone's by your feet, you can go on that if you want. I have a couple games on there," I smiled at her. Alice was hesitant, unsure what to do.

"You look bored," I laughed a little, "Go on, I don't mind."  
Alice reached into my bag and got out my phone. She stared at it in awe, as if she'd never seen one before.

"Do you not have a phone?" I asked, and Alice shook her head.

"I'm sure Esme or Carlisle will get you one," I nodded. In fact, I was certain. I knew Esme would spoil her rotten, and for someone as vain as Rosalie, I'd consider it a bad thing. With Alice, it was easy to make an exception. She'd had so little all her life, a lot of things of value had been taken, stolen or damaged. She deserved a loving home and some possession she could be proud of, both of which she'd get from Esme alone.

I heard the familiar theme tune of Angry Birds playing beside me. I _hated_ that music, from being exposed to it excessively. Emmett was hooked on that game, and persistently played it with the sound up. I didn't want to frighten Alice, so I didn't say anything about it. When there was only about half an hour left of the journey, I looked over to find Alice asleep. My phone was on her lap, and her hand clutched at her tiny soft toy. I couldn't help smiling.

She woke the moment I parked the car and smiled excitedly.

"Ready?" I chuckled, and she nodded rapidly. She took her money from Esme and handed it to me.

"Want me to look after it?" I asked. Alice nodded again, smiling as her eyes sparkled with enthusiasm.

I'd never seen Alice as happy as she looked around all the clothes with thorough detail, feeling the texture and weight of it before taking it to try on. Every time she tried on something and liked it, she'd ask me my permission. Her sweetness brought a smile to my face.

"You can have whatever you like, darlin'," I smiled, "It's your money."

I paid for Alice's jacket, as well as a pink bobble hat and matching gloves and scarf that she'd picked. As well as not having many clothes she seemed to like, it seemed all her warm clothes had been stolen or destroyed. Winter was approaching, and I remembered how cold she was without her jacket. She was wearing one of Esme's jackets for the day, a better fitting one than mine had been. Esme was reasonably small, but her jacket hung awkwardly on Ashley's miniscule frame.

At the checkout, I replaced some of Alice's money with my own without her noticing. As we walked out the store, it began to rain. Alice squeaked as a cold raindrop ran down her back, and she hunched her shoulders and tried desperately to stay dry. The sky was dark, the air icy and sharp. I took Alice's hand and ran with her into a bookstore, having to slow down a little to accommodate her speed. She panted quickly from the short run, shivering from the cold water dripping from her hair. I knelt down to Alice and helped her replace Esme's jacket with her new, thicker and therefore warmer jacket. She looked adorable in her hat, scarf and gloves. It made her look even younger than her age, but I was just glad she was warmer. She looked at the books half-heartedly, later revealing that she struggled with reading, and hated it. Stumbling over words frustrated her greatly.

Alice picked out her favourite restaurant, one she'd been to with her Mom as a kid. We were sat at a table, but Alice didn't look at the menu. She looked at me in worry.

"What's wrong?" I asked with a frown.

_I can't eat a whole pizza on my own._

I checked the menu and found the smallest size they did was a medium. I aborted my plans of a steak.

"We can share," I said, "I'll pay."

Alice shook her head.

_I'm paying._

"I won't let you," I laughed, refusing the money she shoved in my hands.

_My stepdad said I'm too spoiled._

Alice's eyes were wide as she stared at me, terrified of the mere label. I frowned in confusion. Alice wasn't spoiled at all. In fact, she was the complete opposite. Then again, her stepdad was the reason for her separation from her mother. He sounded like the type to hurl insults and abuse at someone he wanted out of the way. I placed my hand over her as she scrabbled to give me her money.

"You're not spoiled, darlin'. I just want to pay for our meal. I want you to spend your money on clothes and whatever you want," I spoke to her softly; it seemed to be the best way to calm her down. She stared at our hands, and then rested her head on them, letting out a slow sigh.

Her eyes were dull and missing the sparkle they'd had yesterday. I wondered if her mom was okay. I could tell she was distracted. I stroked her hair, and she went and sat on my knee. She cuddled close and clung to me tight. I kissed her cheek and stroked her hair, and then I heard her sniffle.

"Don't cry, darlin'" I whispered, "Everything's going to be alright, I promise."

She looked up at me with red eyes and took a deep breath, and I handed her a napkin. She wiped her eyes and sat back in her seat.

"Are you alright now?" I asked, and Alice nodded.

_Thank you._

"Anytime, sweetheart," I smiled at her.

She perked up once our pizza arrived. She carefully used the pizza cutter with a look of excitement in her eyes, cutting herself a small slice. I watched for a moment as she ate neatly and daintily, her mouth tightly closed and taking the tiniest bites known to man.

She ate around a quarter of the pizza before giving up, but I managed to have the rest. I paid for the meal while Alice watched a little nervously.

We walked along the seafront for a few hours to pass the time, and Alice watched the waves for a while. The only reason she stopped was due to a large wave splashing against the rocks and spraying her with sea foam. She let out a little squeak, but then giggled and ran over to me, hugging me tight and getting me covered as well. I couldn't help but laugh at her childish excitement; it relieved me after her minor upset.

I felt my phone ringing in my pocket, and immediately answered Esme's call.

"Alice needs to be back at the home, get there as soon as you can," she said quickly, "Drive safe, sweetheart!"

She hung up abruptly, and I looked over at Alice. She knew instantly what I'd been told, and seemed to shrink into her jacket.

"I'm sorry," I sighed, "I don't want to either."

She took my hand and stared at her feet sadly.

Once we got into the car, Alice drew her knees up to her chest and started writing in her notebook. I didn't want to disturb her, and so I left her to it. The roads were reasonably quite, and I unfortunately meant that Alice was home quicker than we both desired. She ripped a page from her notebook and folded it, giving it to me and getting out the car. I was about to take out her shopping bags, but she darted to my side and shook her head rapidly.

"You want me to keep them safe?" I asked, and Alice nodded. She took off her hat, scarf, gloves and jacket and put them into the car, allowing me to lock it up. Alice took me inside, her hand cold and clammy with nerves. She began to quiver at the sight of one of the careworkers.

"Alice, you missed dinner. You'll have to make yourself something," she looked even stricter than the social worker. Alice nodded and sighed, letting go of my hand.

"It's my fault, I didn't ask when she needed to be back," I broke the woman's hard stare at Alice, that was clearly making her uncomfortable.

"Even so, Alice knows she must be back by seven at the latest. It's almost eight!"

Alice started writing in her notebook, an apology from what I could see, but the notebook was snatched from her.

"_Speak_, girl! Writing everything down is a waste of time," the woman snapped, "Go to bed."

Alice nodded again, hugging me tight for as long as she dared and then running upstairs.

"She's a strange one," the woman muttered. I looked at her in outrage.

"Haven't you read her file?!" I asked as politely as I could manage.

"Not yet," she replied, "I started here yesterday. I moved from Seattle to here, and I've never come across anyone like her."

"You should read it before treating her like that," I muttered, going back home in disgust.

**Thanks for all the support on this fic, it means a lot and encourages me to carry on! This is my last update until after Christmas, so I just wanted to say have a great Christmas and a happy new year! I'll update as soon as I can, I might write more over Christmas day! Thanks again! xx**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! Okay so the next two chapters are in Alice's POV, I was planning on only having one, but I got carried away and there's way too much for just one chapter! I wrote these over Christmas (which seems weird when you read what happens), and I hope you all had a great Christmas! Just so you know, I'm no expert on how the adoption system works so I haven't gone into detail about it, and so if it's in some way wrong then I'm sorry! Don't forget to review **

I didn't like the new care worker. She didn't understand. I wasn't sure if she was aware of what had happened to me. She thought I didn't talk to be a nuisance, which was completely the opposite. She scared me, she shouted at everyone. I mostly hid in my room. She barely bothered to go there.

I wanted the paperwork to be done. I wanted the paperwork to be done; I wanted to be part of a real, solid family. I wanted a mom and a dad who put me first, or at least cared about me enough to consider my feelings before doing something. However much I loved Mom, and however much she loved me, she didn't care about me or my safety. She thought I could look after myself, when of course I couldn't. She expected me to be independent from the age of eight, something that could never happen to someone like me. She tried her hardest to keep me living with her when she got back with her boyfriend: keeping her relationship as secret as possible, sometimes changing addresses so they couldn't find us. They always did, mostly because I called them myself.

I didn't like Mom's selfishness. He beat her up, and me when I was there, but she didn't care. She always apologised if I got hurt, but let it happen and didn't let me be safe. She didn't realise that the home was safer for me, all the foster homes I'd been to, they were safer than with her.

I didn't like thinking about bad things Mom did to me now she was in hospital in a coma. I wanted to remember the good things. The cuddles, the shopping trips, the jokes, the movie nights, but they were all outweighed by the bad things. I curled up in my bed and allowed my emotions to take over. All I wanted was to be in the security of the Cullen Family's home.

It took a week for the paperwork to clear, and by that time, the world I'd once known had disappeared. This sped up the paperwork, because I had no legal guardian anymore. I was there when Mom died. I was woken in the night by Claire, my favourite care worker, telling me that my Mom had taken a turn for the worse. I couldn't control myself, crying so loud they were almost screams. Claire held me close, soothing me softly and getting my old coat.

She waited outside Mom's room, and I cautiously went inside. I watched the door close, and I sat by my mother's bed. I took her hand and hugged it close.

"Mommy," I whispered, reaching and stroking her hair, "Mommy, it's me. Alice."

I watched her face, but of course, she didn't respond.

"I don't want you to go," I began to cry again, "I want you to be alright. You could live with the Cullen's too. I'm sure they'd let you. You could share my room, and then we wouldn't be apart."

I closed my eyes tight and rested my head on her arm. Just before the doctor came in, I whispered, "Sweet dreams, Mom."

He asked me if I was ready, and I lied and nodded. I would never be ready, but Mom was already gone. The machine was keeping her alive, but there was no hope of her ever waking up again. I held onto her hand as she took her last breath, and the monitor let out a continuous beep. I sobbed into her shoulder, wailing and wanting her to miraculously wake up and hug me close. Claire came into the room and did that instead, gently leading me back to the car.

I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night, causing me to be extremely cranky in the morning. Claire allowed me to miss breakfast to have some time alone, but went home just after breakfast. She came upstairs to say goodbye for the day.

"Stay strong, sweetheart. Stay up here if it makes you feel better," she said softly, stroking my hair. I nodded, holding up my "Thank you" card.

I wasn't so fortunate. The new, horrible care worker, whose name I didn't wish to remember, came into my room without knocking.

"It's social time, Alice, come on," she said briskly, taking my arm. I shook my head, tears in my eyes, and began to write that Claire said I could stay in my room. My notebook was snatched from me rudely.

"I know what happened last night, and I'm very sorry, but I think it will do you good to spend time with the others. Come on, now."

She left my notebook in my room and practically dragged me downstairs. I hated social time. It was a stupid thing one of the careworkers came up with as an attempt to improve our social skills, and to make friends. It was an hour where everyone had to sit in the living room, and we were supposed to interact, but everyone kept to their cliques. The little kids played, the gang of bullies yelled abuse at me, and the girls all sat and bitched about everyone else. I was taken to those girls, who looked at me with an unwelcoming scowl.

"Alice's Mom passed away yesterday, could you keep her company?" she sat me down and didn't wait for an answer, "Thank you."

She went to the office to sit with the other care workers. They didn't bother supervising; they didn't care about the kid's feelings. I sat on the floor to escape the girls' scowls. I heard them muttering, but I couldn't be bothered to eavesdrop.

"Aww, baby Alice's Mommy died! Poor baby Alice!" A little seven year old whined. His eyes gleamed evilly. I turned away, trying my hardest to ignore them.

"Baby Alice's Mommy must have hated having a daughter like baby Alice. Maybe that's why she let her boyfriend beat her up."

I stared at my feet, still striving to stay calm.

"I think baby Alice's Mommy's boyfriend will come back for Alice and kill her like she deserves. No one wants Alice," the same kid taunted me. I closed my eyes tight. The girls snickered beside me.

"She's going to snap," one of them muttered, "And I bet it'll be fun."

I took a deep breath, getting more and more afraid that they were right.


	11. Chapter 11

The little kids started chanting, "No one wants Alice", over and over, and they all started to approach me. I stood up and began to walk out, until the kids threw their glasses of water over me. I couldn't take anymore of this torture. The whole room was laughing, some of them chanting about my mother's death. The smallest kid shoved me, and I turned and shoved him back at my hardest. I was stronger than I thought, and he fell back onto the coffee table. Everyone looked over at me in shock.

"Alice is a psycho, just like her Mommy's boyfriend!" a high pitched, blonde haired boy screeched in my ear. Losing control of my temper, I struck him across the face and dodged the two older boys trying to restrain me. One of the others grabbed me and pulled my hands behind my back roughly.

"They were just playing, stupid kid," he muttered sharply, but I bit his arm and managed to escape.

"Alice!" the care worker seized me and dragged me from the room violently while I struggled. More than anyone else, I hated her the most. She was meant to _care_ for us. It was her job. The kids could do whatever the hell they wanted, but they were meant to be stopped by the care workers. She just wanted a quiet life. I elbowed her in the stomach and stamped on her foot as hard as I could. Two other care workers took me to my room to calm down, where I was locked in and left alone. I was burning with anger, and it was just building by the minute. I shrieked furiously, punching the wall and screaming again in pain. My hand was in agony, and I was unable to move it. The anger melted away as I was overwhelmed with pain.

My hand curled up and paralysed, I hid under the bed covers and sobbed. I don't know how long I was there, but someone came to my rescue.

"Alice, honey?" Esme whispered softly. I let out a loud sniffle, and she sat on my bed.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry," she sighed, pulling me gently onto her knee. I looked up at her and whimpered, throwing my arms around her. I knocked my bad hand and let out a little scream of pain.

"What happened to your hand?" she whispered, "Did they hurt you?"

She held my wrist gently, her hand under my hand for support. I shook my head, using my other hand to point at the small dent in the wall.

"Oh, Alice," Esme stroked my cheek with the back of her hand. I cried into her shoulder, her warmth and gentleness calming me down. Esme's soft perfume soothed me as much as her gentle hushing sounds.

"Your Mommy's at peace now, sweetheart," she murmured, gently stroking my hair. I nodded, unable to stop the tears.

"I know this will be hard, Alice," Esme held me at arm's length, "She's been with you all your life. She's your mother. But we'll look after you and help you through this."

I looked up at her again.

"I think we should get you packed," she smiled softly, "They said you can come home with us, it would be better for you."

I nodded eagerly and stood up, running to get some of my clothes. Esme smiled and took them from me, her hand on my back.

"I'll pack your things. Carlisle's outside, he can look at that poor hand of yours."

She glided out of the room and came back with Carlisle. In an instant I was on my feet, running straight into his arms in relief and crying all over again. This was real, it was all coming true. I was going to live with the Cullens, the most perfect family I knew. I couldn't describe how I felt.

"Hey, sweetheart," he said softly, "I'm sorry to hear about…"

I nodded sadly and sighed, not wanting to think about what had happened.

"Now, let's take a look at that hand," he murmured gently, kissing my cheek as I whimpered in pain, "It might hurt a little."

He gently straightened my hand out slightly, and I could see the guilt in his eyes as I failed to keep quiet from the discomfort. I knew he didn't want to hurt me at all.

"Esme, get an ice pack," Carlisle nodded in her direction, "It'll reduce the swelling."

He felt the bones in my hand as gently as he could.

"It's broken in a few places, but I'm sure it'll heal in no time," he smiled at me sympathetically, "It'll be better when you come with us. You're not happy here."

I sniffed and nodded, and Esme handed him some ice packs. He tenderly wrapped a bandage around my arm, pressing the ice pack to my hand gently. The coolness soothed the pain, and it made me feel a lot better. I managed to smile just a little at Carlisle.

Carlisle went to finish some extra paperwork, and Esme sat by me.

"He's amazing, don't you think?" she whispered, "He's great at his job. Your hand would need an X-Ray, but he feels and he just knows. And he's so gentle, he doesn't like causing pain."

I nodded and sighed, resting my head on her shoulder. Her hand combed through my hair rhythmically.

"We haven't told Emmett yet," she said solemnly, "We weren't sure how he'd react to it."

I stayed silent, staring at the floor.

"You're being such a brave girl, sweetie," Esme smiled, kissing my cheek lovingly. I shook my head in disbelief at her statement. I didn't feel brave at all, I felt pathetic.

"Jasper's been worried about you," Esme couldn't help but smile again, "I think he's missed your company. He's always been quite a lonely boy; we tried our hardest to help him make more friends, but he always preferred to be alone. Until he met you."

I looked up at her, fighting back a smile. I thought Jasper had everything, but he didn't. He had problems, just like mine. I didn't feel so alone anymore.

"He reminds me so much of his mother. She was quiet and reserved, and she would have bought a library if the opportunity arose," Esme's eyes were wistful, staring into space as the memories flooded back to her. I wondered what had happened to Jasper's parents, but I was too scared to ask.

Esme finished packing, and we waited for Carlisle in almost silence.

"All sorted," he said quietly, "We can go."

I went downstairs, cradling my broken hand and pressing ice to it. I saw one of the kids I'd hit go past, his nose crusted with dried blood. He cowered at the sight of me, and I looked away in shame. I hated being aware of the fact I'd hurt at least three people today. I didn't want to hurt anyone; I'd reacted recklessly when I should have stayed calm. In my defence, I was provoked, but I couldn't deal with the thought.

Seeing the boy I'd hurt reminded me of everything, the reason why I'd lost my temper. I tried to stay calm, but failed to do so and dissolved into tears.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in SO long, but I have been very busy with school work! So please stop the reviews that say "Don't stop this" or "update right now!" because I have no intention of discontinuing this fic, and telling me to update isn't going to make me update quicker – it just so happens that I haven't been at school for the past two days because I'm ill, so I've had the time to update.**

Jasper

Esme and Carlisle were midway through cooking dinner when they got a phone call.

"Alice has been in a fight," Esme sighed, talking half to herself as she entered the living room to get her keys. She came closer to me and lowered her voice, "Her mom died last night."

I shook my head sympathetically, "Does Emmett know?"

"No t yet. We need to see to Alice first," Esme looked at her phone, "She's in a bad way, they told me she started the fight."

I looked at her with a frown. How could _Alice_ start a fight?

"I didn't believe it either," Esme always seemed to know what I was thinking, "I think she just had enough of the teasing."

I nodded, crossing off the last few sentences of my history essay, "I guess she kept it all inside."

"We'll be back soon. It's probably best to leave her on her own when she gets here," Esme smiled at me softly.

"She's coming back here?" I looked up, and Esme nodded.

"We think it's best for her. She really hates it there."

"I'll finish the dinner," I stood up to go to the kitchen.

"Aw, thank you, honey," Esme pecked my cheek, "Get one of the others to help if you need it."

I nodded dismissively and checked on the vegetables, putting the meat into the oven. I didn't bother asking Edward for help. I'd made this mistake before, and he hadn't cooperated at all. Emmett would make a mess of the place, and Rosalie would count the calories and try to dispose of the majority of the meal to prevent slight weight gain.

Alice arrived attached to Esme's side and sobbing hard. I lowered the heat on the food and stood by the staircase. Esme smiled at me a little and hushed Alice softly, taking her upstairs to her room. I served dinner onto six plates, and dipped my head in greeting to Carlisle as he came to see how I was doing.

"Dish some out for Alice," he instructed quietly, just as I was about to ask, "Just in case she's hungry."

I said nothing, but nodded and acknowledged his request.

We all sat at the table, besides Esme and Alice, and began to eat. Emmett, as usual, tried to get every morsel into his mouth at once, while Rosalie inspected the meat for visible fat before cutting it up. Carlisle rolled his eyes at both of them but didn't bother scolding them. They wouldn't listen anyway. Esme came downstairs, her blouse tear-stained from Alice.

"She insisted I ate with you all," she said quietly, "I guess she wants some alone time."

Carlisle glanced at me and gave me a quick smile, then nodded at Esme to continue.

"Now, you all need to be extra careful with how you treat Alice," she looked at Rosalie, who rolled her eyes at the sound of Alice's name, "She's very sensitive right now, and-"

"My mom's dead, isn't she?" Emmett cut in, staring at his empty plate.

My parents looked at each other awkwardly, and Esme nodded sadly. Her eyes possessed their usual soft quality, but at least ten times worse.

"We were going to tell you," she sighed, "I'm sorry, sweetie."

Emmett shook his head, his expression hard, "You're my mom. Not her. She didn't care about me. You did."

Fresh tears sparkled in Esme's eyes as Emmett stood up. He went upstairs without asking to be excused. This was normal for Emmett, as he didn't like to be involved in sensitive topics. He wasn't one to share emotions that would ruin his "manly" image, which greatly saddened Esme. To be honest, I, and probably everyone else, was surprised that he'd even managed to tell Esme how he really felt about his mother.

Esme stayed quiet for a while and discreetly dried her eyes, then pulled herself together and spoke again.

"As I said, Alice is very sensitive right now. Earlier, some of the other children at the home were teasing her about her mom and she lost her temper. She got violent…she gave a child a bloody nose," her voice was guilty; as if she was revealing a secret she shouldn't be telling. Rosalie muttered something about adopting violent children, and Esme threw down her fork in rage.

"Try being in her position, Rosalie! She lost her mother and those kids were being so cruel! She could only take so much!"

Edward and I looked at each other in exasperation and stayed quiet as Carlisle and Esme pointlessly tried to reason with my sister. After a minute or two, we both gave up and went upstairs.


	13. Chapter 13

I went past Alice's room and paused at the sound of Emmett's low voice.

"I know she loved you so much, Alice," he murmured. He had his back to me, and I guessed Alice was sitting on his knee, as I couldn't see her.

"She kept in touch with Esme and asked about me, until around the time you must have been born. She must have fallen in love the moment she held you."

Alice whimpered and sniffled over the sound of pencil on paper.

"Don't be sorry, little sis," he kissed her cheek, "Esme's been the best Mom I could wish for."

I rolled my eyes. My brother wasn't the most tactful. While Esme had been an amazing mother, Alice's hadn't. It was fair to say she loved her, but she didn't care for her like a mother should.

I went into my study to give them the privacy they thought they had and leaned back on my old, worn couch to watch TV. The TV used to be in my bedroom, but the room was too small. The study was more spacious and practical. I found a documentary about the civil war, reaching for some paper to make some notes for my history project.

Emmett left Alice alone for a while, and about three minutes after he left, I heard a small creak from the door. I set the TV to record the rest of the documentary and turned my full attention to her. She was hiding behind the door, just her eyes and her hands visible. Her eyes were red and continuously spilling tears. Her cheeks were heavily tear stained, and she let out the occasional sniffle.

"Come in," I smiled at her, but she hesitated, retreating further from the door. It took a little bit of coaxing before she ventured into my room.

"Are you alright, darlin'?" I asked, and Alice ran to sit on my knee. She buried her face in my shoulder and dissolved into quiet sobs, her body shaking with the force.

"Aww, Alice," I sighed. I hated seeing her in this way, "I'm so sorry."

I noticed her hand, tied up in a tight bandage. I took her wrist as gently as I could, looking at it and shaking my head.

"Did they do that to you?" I pulled her closer protectively. Alice shook her head, pointing at the wall and making a small punching gesture.

"They shouldn't have pushed you that far," I gently moved a strand of hair from her face. Her eyes followed my hand, moving close to me. Her tiny, pixie nose was almost in contact with mine, and then she stopped. A few moments dragged by, and Alice shifted and planted a kiss on my cheek. We stared at each other for a while, until she rested her head on my shoulder again, letting out a long sigh.

"You should get some rest," I murmured, taking her hand and standing up. Alice nodded, allowing me to walk her to her room. She curled up under the covers, just her eyes peeking out, like usual.

"Good night," I smiled softly, going back to my own room and leaving her in peace. To my relief, I couldn't hear her crying. I hated seeing and hearing that.

I slept through the night and woke to find out I was alone. This was normal, but the last time Alice was here she'd gone into my bed to sleep. In a way, I missed it. It was 7am, not much of a lie-in, but I wasn't the sort to appreciate them. I decided to finish watching the documentary I'd recorded the night before so I could see to Alice.

Just in my underwear, I went into my study and reached to switch on the TV above my desk. I heard a little squeak, and I leapt back to find Alice tucked up underneath it with her bed covers.

"What are you doing down there, darlin'?" I suppressed a laugh, kneeling down to her level. Alice cowered under her bed covers, but I held out my hand to her. Alice stared at it thoughtfully, her eyes wide, and after deep thought she reached and took it. She got up too quickly, hitting her head on the desk. She let out a little cry of shock, cowering back under her bed covers with her hands on her head.  
"Hey, come here," I sighed, "I'll get some ice for your head."

I got her out from the desk and took her downstairs to the kitchen. I took an ice pack and gently pressed it to her head.

"Better?" I asked, and she slowly nodded. She was lacking the inquisitive and cheerful sparkle in her eyes that I remembered from when we first met. I guessed she was missing her mom, the only one she could talk to. She had no one to talk to properly anymore.


	14. Chapter 14

The bags under her eyes screamed "sleep deprivation" at me as she stared up at me sadly. I took her by the arm and led her upstairs.

"Get some sleep," I nodded, taking her bedding back to her room, "My bed or yours?"

She stared at me for a while and pointed at me.

"Alright," I smiled, gently leading her to my room and tucking her in. She cuddled under the covers, almost up to her forehead, "If you need anything, I'm just in her."

I gestured to my study, and Alice nodded and closed her eyes. I sat down and began to watch my documentary. I struggled to concentrate, and Esme's disturbance room didn't help.

"Jasper?" she peeked her head around the door, "Do you know where Alice is?"

"She's in my room, asleep," I replied, "She came in a few minutes ago, she looked exhausted."

I guessed Alice would appreciate me not telling Esme about finding her under my desk.

"Poor sweetheart," Esme looked at my bedroom door with sympathy, as if it was the one suffering, "I'll bring up some breakfast for you both."

"Thanks," I replied, staring at the TV meaningfully. Luckily, Esme got the message and left me in peace. I actually managed to get through the whole documentary and take some notes, and after just an hour, Alice emerged from my room. Completely silent, she sat beside me and looked at me.

"Our breakfast is there," I smiled at her, pointing at the bowl of fruit in front of us. Esme had loaded it with almost every fruit in existence, which wasn't too much of a surprise from her. Alice stared at it in awe, her bambi eyes wide as she took a closer look. Her skinny hand picked out a small strawberry, and she looked at me for a while and offered it to me.

"You have it," I laughed, "Have whatever you like!"

Alice's cheeks flushed a light pink as she took a small bite of the strawberry, and did the same thing with everything she picked. She asked permission to take something before she ate it, and it was getting a little tiring. We ended up taking turns to pick a piece of fruit, as it made Alice relax a lot more. She was scared of me getting annoyed if I took a something I wanted, when I didn't mind at all.

Without warning, Alice ran from the room and got dressed and ready for the day. She performed a small, perfect twirl in front of me, showing off her new black dress with swans all over that she'd bought on our shopping trip. She beckoned me to follow as she made her way into the living room downstairs. Emmett, Rosalie and Edward were all present, sitting in front of the TV. This wasn't unusual in the Cullen household.

Emmett was partway through a Saw movie, something Rosalie could just about handle and something Edward had learned to ignore over time like I had. Alice, however, had to deal with violence and possibly gore, although much less severe, and wasn't prepared to watch such a movie. Her eyes widened into almost perfect circles and leapt behind me, quivering as she clung to me in terror.

"Emmett," Edward and I both said in unison. Edward raised an eyebrow and tipped his head in mine and Alice's direction.

"Oh, sorry," Emmett tried his hardest to hide his disappointment, and then changed it to the sport channel. Alice relaxed and came to sit by Emmett's feet on the floor.

"You don't have to sit on the floor," Emmett beckoned her to sit beside him with a smile. Alice shook her head and smiled back at him, drawing her knees to her chest. She reached for me to sit beside her and giggled quietly. As soon as I sat on the floor I was greeted by one of Emmett's feet in my face. In absolute repulsion, I yelped and ducked, shoving it away. Alice found this hilarious, a tear streaming down her cheek from laughing so excessively. Rosalie rolled her eyes and held her magazine up in front of her face in a dramatic attempt of exasperation.

Emmett flicked through the TV channels until he came to the wrestling channel. Letting out a loud, booming whoop, he put down the remote and watched intently. Alice did the opposite, her giggles withering into silence as she curled into a ball and stared at me, her hair bouncing as she shook her head.

"No wrestling," I looked at Emmett, "No violence."

Alice nodded and smiled at me in gratitude, holding her arms out for a hug. I gently wrapped my arms around her, and she wriggled closer until she was sitting on my knee.

Emmett clearly wasn't in a considerate mood. That and his logic seemed to have a fault. He'd switched the TV to a crime drama. At first, Alice was fine with it, not quite realising what this type of show entailed. But then a body was shown on screen.

Alice leapt up and escaped the room, to all our shock.

"Freak," Rosalie muttered, "We can't do anything without her having some kind of episode."

"Rose, her mom just died," Edward glared at her, "Have some respect."


	15. Chapter 15

Alice

I needed to get away from all the memories flooding back at me. I couldn't bear to watch anymore of the TV show. I ran as fast as I could, straight into Carlisle.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" he asked softly. I made no attempt to explain, just clinging to him and whimpering quietly. Esme appeared and gently detached me from him.

"Come in my office for some quiet," Carlisle led me upstairs with a hand on my back, while Esme went to talk to everyone else. I sat beside him and stared at my feet, embarrassed and annoyed that I'd only just moved in and I was already making a fuss.

"I know it's going to be hard to adjust to living here, Alice," Carlisle smiled at me sympathetically; "It's alright to get upset, but I don't want you feeling like you don't fit in. Everyone wants you here."

I nodded, although I didn't entirely agree. I knew for a fact that at least one person in that house would be happier if I left.

"Do you want to go back downstairs?" he asked, "You can stay here if you prefer."

I pointed to where I was sitting. I just needed peace. Carlisle nodded and stood up.

"Let me or someone know if you need anything. Don't be afraid to ask for anything."

I was left alone, and I sat in silence on the old leather couch at the back of the room. I was too afraid to touch anything in case I broke it.

"Alice?" Emmett came into the room. I stood up at the sight of him and smiled slightly.

"I'm sorry about the TV," he sighed, catching me in a close hug. I shook my head and hugged him.

"You'll soon notice how stupid I can be," he sat me on his knee and pretended to knock on his head. I couldn't help giggling, kissing his forehead and hugging him tight.

Jasper

Alice told Carlisle and Esme she wanted me to go with her to her mom's funeral. Esme insisted she joined us, and after consideration Emmett decided he would come too.

I woke at three in the morning to find Alice climbing into my bed. Her large eyes stared at me through the dense gloom.

"Get some rest," I whispered, "I'm here."

I felt her relax, and she fell asleep clinging to my arm as if it were a comforter. I struggled to sleep with her attached to me, but my priority was that Alice slept alright.

Alice dressed in a sweet black dress, and got Esme to put a black ribbon in her hair. She looked smaller than ever as she sat in the living room, waiting patiently to be told we were all ready to go.

"Jasper, tell Alice's we're ready now," Esme patted my shoulder. I nodded silently and entered the living room. Alice looked up at me the moment she heard me come in.

"We're ready," I said softly, and her eyes began to sparkle with fresh tears. She approached me slowly, but then sped up and hugged me tight. Whimpers caught in her throat as she began to cry. She gulped and buried her face in my side.

"It's alright," I soothed, kissing her hair and kneeling down to her eye level, "We're here for you."

Esme was about to fuss over Alice at the sight of her crying, but stopped as I discreetly shook my head. The last thing Alice needed was smothering.

"Let's go," was all she said, and I led Alice out to the car. She didn't make a sound for the whole journey.

The ceremony was small, only about five other people present. Two of them greeted Alice, but she just nodded in bewilderment and cowered into Esme and I with wide eyes. I heard her sniffles all through the ceremony, and she rested her head on my shoulder. Slowly, she slid her hand into mine.

Before we left, I went with Alice to lay a lily on her mother's coffin. Esme and Emmett waited by the car to give Alice some privacy, although she insisted I came with her. I looked at her sweet, innocent face and saw the determination not to cry dominating it. She kissed the lily and placed it on the coffin at her gentlest before throwing her arms around me.

"We'll take good care of her," I whispered quietly to Alice's mother, and Alice looked up at me with a small smile on her face. She reached in her pocket and wrote on a small, ragged piece of paper.

_Thank you._

"You're more than welcome," I smiled at her, kissing her forehead. After a few more minutes, Alice began to make her way back to the car.

Emmett sat sadly in the car, staring at his feet. Esme reached to touch his shoulder, but he shrugged her off and grunted dismissively before turning away. She sighed in exasperation, but then smiled at the sight of Alice and I. Alice, despite all she was going through, smiled back at her and got into the car with my assistance.

"We might order a couple pizzas in tonight, sweetheart," Esme said softly, "Would you like that? We could get you something else if you prefer."

Alice sniffed loudly and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. After Esme gave her a tissue, Alice nodded obscurely.

"Pizza?"

Alice nodded again, reaching and taking my hand as I got in the car beside her, and Esme started the engine.

Alice stayed downstairs when we got back home, instead of going to her room like she usually did. She seemed uncomfortable where she was and kept fidgeting on the couch. Her movements were amplified by the leather. Rosalie gave her a quick glance of disapproval, but she didn't notice and carried on.

"Quit it," Rose snapped, not turning to face her. Alice gasped, hugging her knees to her chest and blinking quickly.

"Leave her alone," I rolled my eyes at my sister, "Go bitch to someone else, but not Alice."

I knelt to the small ball of pale skin, black fabric and black spiky hair.

"Come on," I whispered, "Let's go somewhere else."

Alice reached and took my hand, hopping from the couch and looking fearfully at Rosalie before following me out the room.

"Sorry about her," I sighed quietly, "She's been like that since, well, as long as I remember. I guess she's got worse because she's not the only girl in the house now."

Alice looked back in Rosalie's direction in terror.

"She'll get used to it," I reassured her as hopefully as I could manage, then took her hand and led her outside. The weather had cooled a lot, and so Alice shivered violently as she came outside. She ran inside to find her coat.

"I could show you the forest," I offered upon her return, and she nodded, holding onto my hand tightly.


	16. Chapter 16

Alice

I was glad that Jasper was prepared to look after me. I was confident he wasn't finding me to be nuisance. Jasper led me over a bridge, a small bridge that creaked worryingly under my weight, and then we were suddenly the forest. I couldn't help but smile in awe of my surroundings.

"It's beautiful, right?" Jasper had noticed my expression, "We just have to be careful of any mountain lions out there."

I didn't feel so safe anymore.

"Oh, no, we're fine. As long as we stick to path and don't go too deep. They don't often come near the house."

I wasn't fully listening, as I'd noticed something sitting at the base of tree. It was just a little way away from the path, and so I ventured from it to see what it was. I knelt in front of a little deer fawn, its leg bleeding and at an awkward angle. I gasped quietly and beckoned Jasper over immediately.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sighing at the sight of it. I petted its head and allowed it to smell my hand. I giggled as the wet nose tickled my hand.

"I'll get Esme," Jasper stood up, "Stay here, don't move."

I nodded and sat on a tree root beside the fawn, gently stroking its fur. Esme rushed outside.

"Oh, the poor thing," she sighed, but then gasped in disgust and moved my hands away, "Don't touch it, honey. It's dirty."

The fawn tried to stand up to reach me, but failed to put weight on its leg.

"Can't you take it to an animal hospital?" Jasper looked at me sympathetically as I stared at the fawn sadly

"Its leg with get infected, it doesn't seem to have a mother," Esme shook her head, "Another animal will get it before long. Sorry, sweetie."

I couldn't stop fat, hot tears from streaming down my cheeks. It wasn't fair. It shouldn't have to die. After losing my mom, I couldn't face more death, even if it was a defenceless animal.

"Aw, Alice," Esme knelt beside me, "I'm sorry."

"Come on," Jasper sighed, "She's had enough for today. Can't you at least try to help it?"

Esme ignored him and hugged me close, which caused me to automatically calm down. I could never, ever be mad at her for anything.

We left the fawn outside after Esme eventually caved and promised to help it if it was still there the next morning. She then closed the discussion and went to call for pizza.

Jasper shared a pizza with me. We were allowed to eat where we liked, we didn't have to sit at the dinner table. Jasper came to my room with me, and we sat on the bed together.

"I think Esme's going to take you to buy some things to decorate your room. It'll probably help you settle in," Jasper told me between mouthfuls of pizza. I'd never had my own room before, and so I was excited to be able to make this one my own. Once I'd decorated how I liked, I would feel safer in it.

I showered and went to bed just after finishing the pizza, but I purposely kept myself awake by wandering around my room silently and reading past entries in my journal before writing a new one. I heard Jasper's TV on until about eleven. Rosalie was talking to her friend on the phone for at least two hours, finishing around 10:30. Edward and Emmett played loud, violent video games in their room until exactly 11:47. Esme went to bed at 9pm, but Carlisle went to bed earliest, at the same time as me, because he had to get to work early in the morning.

The house was silent by midnight. I couldn't stop thinking about my little baby deer suffering out there in the cold. For all I knew, Esme was right, it was probably dead. It wasn't fair at all. I had to find it, and if it was alive, I had to rescue it. To do this, I'd have to break a few rules. This was something I didn't like to do without good reason.

I crept from my room with a small torch Esme had given me in case I needed the bathroom or a drink of water in the night. I didn't like the dark, so the dim light from the torch calmed me a little. The floor made small creaks as I made my way downstairs, but no one seemed to notice. I scrabbled through the shoes in the shoe cupboard and put on the pair I thought was mine. As soon as I stood and tried to take a step, the huge, clown like feet beneath me tripped me up, and I almost landed on my feet. I was unsure how I'd concluded that Emmett's shoes were mine, but I was focused too much on getting outside to care about humiliation. After trying on almost every single pair in the cupboard, I finally found my own shoes at the bottom on the pile and then went outside into the freezing cold night air.


	17. Chapter 17

Jasper

I woke with a start at a dream I seemed to instantly forget, and cowered a little at the creaking footsteps coming towards my bedroom door. Confused and regaining courage, I went to my door and looked outside. Alice was making her way downstairs. I guessed she was getting a glass of water, and so left her to it.

My journey to the door had woken me up, and so I had difficulty getting back to sleep. Alice never returned upstairs, unless her footsteps were completely silent. When I heard the back door swing shut, I looked out my window to find Alice walking down the backyard, in just her pyjamas, towards the forest. I guessed what she was aiming to do, unless she was sleepwalking, and I knew I had to stop her before she got herself lost.

I wanted to run downstairs, but decided that waking the whole house up wouldn't be a good decision at that time. Alice wouldn't want an audience while being caught out of bed at night.

I pulled on a shirt and went downstairs to get my jacket and shoes. I took Alice's coat with me as well. From the temperatures I knew could occur at night, I predicted Alice would be freezing out there.

I was right about the temperature, and so I ran ahead to warm Alice up as soon as I could. She was gingerly crossing the bridge, whimpering as the wood creaked with every step. She gasped and knelt by a tree, reaching her hand out to something. Even from my distance, Alice was visibly shivering.

I knelt beside her once I'd caught up with her. She stifled a scream, backing away in terror before realising it was me.

"It's only me," I whispered, reaching a hand to her, "I heard you get out of bed."

I held her coat out to her, and Alice reached and put it on, hugging herself and snuggling into the coat's warmth in appreciation. She pointed to the deer; standing in the exact place it had been sitting in hours ago. It staggered unsteadily on its injured leg. Alice looked at me desperately, gently stroking the deer's back.

"There's nothing I can do, darlin'" I sighed, "I'm sorry."

Alice shook her head, pointing to the house. She tenderly lifted the deer, which allowed her to without making a sound.

"We can't take it inside;" I said almost silently, "Esme would kill me!"

Alice hugged it tight and started to cry again. I hated upsetting her, and so I let out a long sigh and stood her up with the deer in her arms.

"Alright, come on. I'll take it to my study. We'll have to clean it up."

Alice nodded and sniffled, giving me a small, grateful smile before following me slowly inside. The deer stayed quiet and relaxed in her hold.

"Give it here a moment," I whispered, "Get it some water."

Alice passed it to me instantly, but the deer began to struggle and make noises, almost as if it were screaming. Alice took it back with a gasp, and then made her way to my study. I found an empty box and placed some soft towels in it for the deer to sit in. Alice waited with it while I went to get some water for it. I raided the refrigerator and took out a carrot and some lettuce, in case the deer was hungry. If it ate carrot and lettuce, anyway.

Alice was sitting by the box, stroking the deer gently and kissing its head.

"Don't kiss it," I sighed, gently pulling her away, "It has germs, and you could get sick."

Alice nodded and took the bowl of water from me. The deer lapped it up eagerly, and gently accepted the carrot and lettuce. Alice smiled at me and fed it some more lettuce, but widened her eyes at the direction of the door.

"What the hell is going on here?" Esme snapped, and Alice cowered back into the corner of the room.

Alice

I'd never seen Esme so angry, as she glared at Jasper and I. It reminded me so much of Mom's boyfriend, although he was definitely significantly worse. I hated getting in trouble, and knowing it was my fault made me feel even worse. I tried to stay brave and calm, but ended up hiding in the corner of the room.

"Esme, don't get mad, please," Jasper said defensively, "You're scaring Alice."

Carlisle came behind Esme, "Why is there a deer in your study, Jasper?" he frowned in confusion, but then he noticed me, "Alice, are you alright?"

"She came into my room because she couldn't sleep," Jasper began, and at first I was mortified that he was hinting at what I'd been doing quite regularly, "She was worried about the deer, so I found it for her to put her mind at rest."

I relaxed a little, although I felt bad that Jasper had made it so it was his fault to save me from trouble. Esme knelt by me, her expression soft and comforting.

"I'm sorry for getting mad and scaring you," she sighed, and she pulled me into a gentle embrace, "I'll call an animal hospital in the morning, alright?"

I nodded and smiled at her to say thank you, then looked at my deer. It had fallen asleep in its box, despite Esme's raised voice.

"Poor thing," Esme looked at it sadly, and then looked at Jasper's clock, "You should both get back to bed."

I nodded again, and Esme took my hand and led me to bed. She planted a kiss on my forehead and tucked me.

"Sweet dreams, honey," she whispered, leaving the door slightly open to let some light from the hallway in, as well as the nightlight. Feeling comfortable and not wanting to disturb Jasper further, I fell asleep reasonably quickly.

My deer was taken to the animal hospital early in the morning by Carlisle on his way to work. She was brought back to be released into the forest after some rehabilitation. I named her Bambi, but didn't tell anyone this.

Every single day I left leftover vegetables out for Bambi to eat, and she came to see me every day too. She allowed me to stroke her too, like she had when she was hurt. Jasper often accompanied me, right up until a week before he and all my other adoptive siblings returned to school. When Rosalie invited her new friend _Maria_ to visit.


	18. Chapter 18

Jasper knelt beside me as I petted my deer's head.  
"She's got bigger," Jasper smiled, and I nodded in agreement. She looked at me and pushed her nose into my leg, making me giggle. She then did the same to Jasper, who chuckled and gently stroked her head.

I heard laughter and gossiping approaching from inside, and Rosalie came outside with a dark haired, olive skinned girl. My face fell slightly at their interruption. Jasper stood up and I did the same, and I hid myself behind him ever so slightly.

"This is my twin brother, Jasper," Rosalie grinned, but then her expression turned sour as she turned to me, "And Alice, the new kid."

Jasper bowed slightly to her, greeting her in the politest way he could. Maria giggled childishly, and then looked at me.

"Aww, hey sweetheart! She cooed, knowing full well I was not a little kid, "She's adorable."

"Hmm," Rosalie briefly raised an eyebrow in my direction. Maria took Jasper's hand quite forcefully.

"Come take me on a tour of the house." she said. She didn't even ask, it was an order. Was she trying to interrupt me and Jasper? He'd decline, of course. We were visiting Bambi, the thing we always did together. I was sure wouldn't disrupt that. I looked down at Bambi, and found that she had retreated towards the forest due to the amount of people.

"Sure," Jasper replied, to my shock and hurt. I stayed silent, beginning to follow them as they all went inside.

"Oh no, Alice, you stay with your little friend. Don't worry," Maria smiled. Jasper looked back at me, his expression soft but unsympathetic.

"Your deer prefers just you anyway," he tried to make it okay. It didn't work, but I was too afraid to try and protest in some way. I nodded in defeat, and received an unexpected shove from Rosalie.

"Stay out of it," she snapped, whipping her hair so fast that some strands came in contact with my eyes. Jasper was inside by that point and was too busy showing Maria around to notice.

I couldn't help feeling betrayed. My eyes began to water from Rosalie's hair entering them. I wiped them forlornly and turned to go back to Bambi. The only sight that greeted my eyes was the patch of grass that Bambi had stood on. After a long sigh, I went back indoors.

I crept upstairs, hoping for some peace and privacy, buy was greeted by Esme.

"I thought you were with Jasper, sweetie," she looked at me with slight concern, "Is everything alright?"

I nodded and forced a smile on my face.

"I was just about to find you, actually, because I promised I would help decorate your room last week. I got all caught up in getting the others ready for the new school year that I didn't have time! So I thought we could do it now if you like?"

Esme had taken me to buy some things for my room the same day Bambi had been taken to the animal hospital. My new bed sheets were a dark purple, which matched the curtains. These were accompanied by new lights, lamps, a closet and other furniture in similar colours. I'd picked out a light purple, sparkly paint for the walls, but had asked Esme to get a few extra paints in several different colours.

On one of the occasions I lived with Mom, she'd taken me to see the Disney movie Tangled for my birthday. I'd loved how Rapunzel had painted all the walls, and I dreamed of someday having a room like that. I'd been instantly refused this dream when I'd asked Mom, but mostly to prevent having to ask her boyfriend.

Emmett helped to cover all the furniture and move it away from the walls, and Esme and I began painting. It took up the rest of the day and took my mind off Jasper abandoning me. The paint needed time to dry, and so I had to sleep in Jasper's study for the night. Esme set up my new bed covers on Jasper's couch, and it made a comfortable place to sleep. Jasper didn't even come to say goodnight.

Maria ended up visiting everyday that week, meaning Jasper never spent time with me at all. Once my room was all finished, I stayed in there on my own for most of the day. I wasn't sure what else to do. All I could hear was Maria giggling in Jasper's study.

I sat on the steps in the yard, waiting for Bambi. Recently she hadn't come at all, and I was beginning to become afraid that she'd gone somewhere else. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and Emmett suddenly scooped me up in his arms.

"You look lonely," he squeezed me gently, "Jasper ignoring you?"

I shook my head, but then resorted to a shrug. Emmett smiled in amusement as I attempted, but failed, to defend his brother.

"C'mon. I'll keep you company," he grinned childishly, carrying me upstairs as fast as he could manage. Jasper was making his way down the corridor with Maria and stopped for a moment when he saw us. I let out a loud giggle to help prove a point.

Emmett taught me to play a few of his non-violent video games. Mario Kart was my favourite. I won several games, although I had a sneaking suspicion that he was letting me win on purpose.

The next day, the day before they all went back to school, Emmett took me to the kitchen and helped me make some cupcakes. I adored Emmett, my very own big brother, but I couldn't help missing spending time with Jasper. I loved them both, but for some reason I yearned more for Jasper's attention.


	19. Chapter 19

After dinner, I handed out a cupcake to everyone. I'd iced their first initials on in different colours.

"These look beautiful, Alice," Esme smiled at me before daintily taking a bite. Rosalie excused herself from the table and left the cupcake on the table. Emmett had practically swallowed his whole, and then reached and did the same with Rosalie'. Everyone else was eating normally.

Jasper excused himself from the table next, after eating his cupcake, and I ran to follow him.

"Oh, I was going to ask to talk to you," he smiled, "I realised I sort of…ignored you recently. I'm sorry, darlin'".

I shrugged and shook my head, but Jasper placed his hands on my shoulders.

"I saw you sitting outside by yourself and I felt bad…I wanted to come join you but Maria, well, she just wanted it to be us. I'll spend more time with you, Alice, I promise," he pulled me close as I reached to hug him.

He did keep to his word. When he returned from school without Maria, he'd help me with my homework for Esme. Esme had drastically cut down her work hours just for me, cutting down to just weekends in order for her to teach me. That, and so I wasn't home alone all day. She was so patient, and often gave me cupcakes and candy as little rewards.

"You worked so hard today," she praised me on my third day of tutoring, but then she turned around and gasped, "Oh! Someone's come to visit you!"

My face lit up as Bambi approached me slowly.

"I must have left the door open," Esme smiled, and I was glad she didn't seem to be annoyed about an animal in the house, "I'll go get her something."

I knelt down and petted Bambi's fur gently, but she lost interest in me as she caught sight of the carrot in Esme's hand. Bambi took it from her gently and held it in her mouth like a dog would hold a stick, making Esme and I laugh. I lifted Bambi up, not realising how much bigger and heavier she'd become, and took her outside. Esme and I watched Bambi eat her carrot and wander around the backyard while we sat at the garden table and drank lemonade.

"Do you think you've settled in alright, sweetheart?" Esme broke the silence and smiled at me. I nodded eagerly, shifting my seat a little closer.

"I'm glad!" she laughed quietly, putting her arm around me, "And I'm glad you've kept Jasper company too."

I nodded again, taking my notepad from my pocket and writing something down.

_And Emmett_

"Yes, and Emmett," Esme laughed quietly, "Though Jasper's been having that girl around a lot. I don't like her," she sighed, "And he seems to prefer her to you right now."

I stared at my knees with a sigh, playing with my hands.

"Oh, sweetie," Esme sighed, "He's never had a girlfriend before," the word _girlfriend_ stung in my mind, "I guess it's all new to him. I'm sure he'll learn to balance his time. But at least you have Emmett, Edward and…well, maybe not so much Rosalie for company. And Carlisle and I too. Tell someone if you're lonely."

_Why doesn't Rosalie like me?_

Esme studied my message for a while as she plotted an answer.

"I wouldn't say she _dislikes_ you, honey," I knew she was just trying to make me feel better about it, "She's just not used to new people in her home. She's quite possessive of her family."

I nodded, not fully satisfied but not brave enough to ask for more. I had one more question for her.

_Why did you want to adopt me? After you raised the others from babies?_

"If I had known what would have happened to you, I'd have adopted you from a baby too," Esme said softly, pulling me onto her knee and gently pinching my cheek, "I'm sure you were a beautiful little baby."

I giggled and shook my head.

_I had big ears when I was a baby_.

My ears actually looked quite small now. My mom always said I grew into them.

"Aww, well that would have made you even cuter!" Esme laughed, but carried on her explanation, "Carlisle and I wanted to adopt another child anyway. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie are all going to college next year! Although our four babies are always going to be so special to us, we wanted to help another child too. A child your age or younger. Then you were taken into hospital after…" Esme paused and took a tissue from her pocket as she noticed tears in my eyes. It seemed to be an automatic response now.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, "I shouldn't have mentioned it."

I shook my head and gestured for her to continue.

"Carlisle…he was very moved by your story and what had happened to you. He saw how afraid you were. It upset him quite a bit. Do you…do you remember when he sat by your bed in the hospital when you first arrived?"

I rested my head on Esme's shoulder and nodded, whimpering of my own accord as her gentle hands ran through my hair comfortingly.

I'd been in almost hysterics at the hospital. In such a short time, everything in my life had changed significantly, and I wasn't sure how to cope or react. I'd screamed and cried as doctors and nurses felt my body for broken bones, injected me with several drugs and tried to calm me down. All I wanted was my mom, and that was one of the only things they couldn't give me. Carlisle noticed my distress and ordered them all away, treating me singlehandedly. He talked me through everything he was doing before he did it, and stopped to give me a break if it caused me pain. He also apologised a lot, for causing me pain and also for my situation. When he had to go home, and he told me to get some sleep, I became terrified about being alone in the hospital. He gently reassured me and held my hand until I got to sleep. I was too afraid to let anyone else in the hospital look after me.

"He was so affected by you that he contacted your social worker to see what they were going to do with you. He was told that due to your mother's…condition, they had decided a permanent home for you would be best. Carlisle immediately expressed his interest, despite not asking me first. At first they were unsure, because they thought that it would be better for you to have a family with no other children. But Carlisle really wanted to take you in, sweetheart, and he pulled some strings and they arranged for you to come and stay. They knew us from when we adopted Emmett and the others all those years ago. We've been asked to take on a few more children over the years, but we weren't ready back then.

We didn't realise that you were Emmett's half-sister until Carlisle brought me your file so I could know more about you. I recognised your last name at first. Brandon, just like your mother. But then I saw your picture – you look just like her! Emmett wasn't too happy about it to begin with," Esme sighed and squeezed me gently, "I think he was hurt, because your mom had been quite seriously ill when she had him, so ill that she was unable to look after him. But then she stopped contacting me about Emmett and had you, and then did look after you. I guess for him, he felt a little abandoned."

_I'm sorry_.

"Don't be sorry, Alice," Esme kissed my forehead, "It's not your fault!

"Carlisle was insistent that we took you on. He worried about you while you were in hospital. He was worried you were scared or couldn't sleep. Several times he wanted to go back to work and make sure you were okay. I agreed to take you in, and I came to visit you. Do you remember?"

I nodded and smiled. She'd been so kind and gentle. The first thing she did was give me a huge, warm hug. She told me that she wanted me to live with her and her family, and despite the anguish of my situation I was ecstatic. As she described her family, I gained more and more excitement. All I had dreamed of was living in a big, perfect family, although originally I'd wanted this with my mom, and it was coming true.

"We love you so much, Alice. You're very special to us too," Esme smiled, gasping a little and I hugged her tightly, "And if you ever feel lonely or scared, or miss your mom, come talk to us."


	20. Chapter 20

Jasper arrived back home, along with the others, disturbing mine and Esme's conversation.

"Go on," Esme smiled at me, "While he's free."

I grinned at her and ran to greet my siblings. Emmett grabbed me up in a hug, squeezing me gently.

"Had fun today?" he grinned, and I nodded and giggled at him. Once he put me down, I ran to Jasper.

"Homework?" he smiled, but I shook my head. For once, Esme hadn't given me any. I guessed she wanted Jasper and I to make the most of our time together.

We went out to Port Angeles, like we had done the first time he took me out. This time, I didn't need new clothes, so we walked around the town before sharing a spaghetti meal, followed by ice cream. It was perfect, almost as if Maria didn't exist. He didn't mention her at all in conversation, he just focused on me. I felt like the happiest girl in the world that night.

The date, as I called it, didn't end in the ideal dream ending I'd wanted it too, but I hadn't exactly expected it anyway. It didn't make me enjoy the evening any less.

We sat in his study when we got back, and I began to feel sleepy. Jasper was about to take me to bed, but his cell phone rang, causing my mood to plummet. I knew exactly who it would be, and I almost felt myself fade into the background as Jasper smiled and answered the call.

"Hey, darlin'," Jasper smiled to himself. I'd never thought that would hurt me so much. "Darlin'" was his word for _me_. Not her. As Jasper turned his back on me, I escaped the room and got into mine, allowing hot tears to falls as I changed into my pyjamas.

Jasper was on the phone for an hour, and for that whole time I was unable to ignore it to get to sleep. I half-listened to the conversation, but I sat up at the mention of my name.

"Of course Alice will be here," Jasper laughed, "She lives here. She has nowhere to go without me holding her hand anyway."

My eyes blurred with hurt and rage. Did he talk about me like that all the time? Was I chore to him? Was I a _joke_ to him? I had no idea what to think, and I had no idea how to react.

"She won't be with us if we go out. She's not attached to me," he said quite seriously, almost possessively, "She probably wants to be though."

I had enough. I didn't want to hear about how much of a burden I seemed to be on him. I never thought he'd talk about me like that, _ever_. I loved him to pieces, and I'd guessed the feeling was mutual. Maybe I was delusional.

I stood up to close the door, but accidentally slammed it. I ran to the bed and covered my ears with the pillow. Anything to block out Jasper's voice.

Due to the pillow, I didn't hear Jasper get off the phone. I didn't hear him come into my room either. I felt a hand on my back and almost screamed.

"Alice?" Are you alright?" he said quietly, and I widened my eyes at him. I couldn't bring myself to glare at him. I may have been mad with him, but I didn't want to glare.

"Why were you covering your ears?" he asked in concern. I didn't want to stay speechless. I grabbed my notepad and wrote my answer down.

_You were talking about me._

Jasper frowned at my answer, but watched as I lengthened it.

_You sounded like you don't like having me around._

"What?" Jasper displayed a mixture of confusion, bewilderment and one more. Frustration, "You shouldn't have been listening, Alice."

I sat in silence for a moment, unsure how to respond.

_I didn't want to listen._

"Of course I like having you around! Why would I bother saving that animal for you? Why would I help you with your studying? And why would I let you into my bed when you have nightmares? Which Maria wouldn't be happy about, so it has to stop. You have your own bed. Use it," he shot me a look of annoyance, "You need to get used to the fact that I can't devote every hour of the day with you like I used to, Alice. I'm going to college next year, and I have a girlfriend. A girlfriend I don't want to lose because I spent more time with some kid than her."

Involuntary tears trickled down my cheeks. Some kid. _Some kid. _Was that all I was to him now he'd met Maria? I thought we had something special. I thought he cared about me.

Jasper's eyes widened a little, and he seemed to have realised the impact of his words.

"Alice, I'm sorry," he sighed, reaching to hug me in apology, "I didn't mean to get angry."

I pulled away and wiped my eyes.

_I'm tired. I'm going to sleep now._

I shoved the note in his hand and watched him go to the door. As soon as he was out of sight, I buried my face in the pillow and began to cry properly.


	21. Chapter 21

Footsteps came closer to my room.

"Alice, sweetheart?" Esme put head around the door, "What's wrong?"

Usually I'd want to defend Jasper, but I was half-mad at him, and half-worried that we'd keep having moments like this. I wanted Esme's help.

I began to write everything down. What he'd said, how left I felt. Esme looked at my note, a little taken aback at the unusual length of my writing. She pulled me close and sighed.

"Poor girl," she whispered, "I'll talk to him, alright? I know how much you enjoy his company. I hate seeing you unhappy."

I nodded and thanked her silently, and then crept to my doorway as she went to Jasper's room.

"I didn't mean to get angry," Jasper said defensively the moment Esme entered the room.

"I know, honey," she sat on the bed, "I know. But, Jasper, you shouldn't have talked about her like that. You know how much she looks up to you? You were one of the first of us she began to trust properly. Imagine how it felt for her to hear you talk about her like that."

"I didn't realise I sounded offensive. I hadn't intended that," Jasper said dismissively.

"Alright," Esme sighed, "But, please, for Alice, make sure you spend time with her too. Please. Don't just spend all your time on the phone to Maria or out with Maria."

"I'll organise my time how I like!" Jasper snapped, "Maybe you should explain to Alice that now I have a girlfriend she should learn to sleep in her own bed."

I first felt annoyed at his first comment, but it was quickly replaced with mortification. Jasper had _promised_ not to tell anyone about that. I'd got better at sleeping alone anyway.

"She sleeps in your bed?" Esme sighed.

"She didn't want me to tell you, she just didn't like being alone, I guess. She's alright now, she doesn't do it so much," Jasper shrugged, his voice softer, "But what if she tries to come into my bed when Maria's here?"

Esme raised an eyebrow, "Firstly, Maria's not going to sleep in your bed. And second, I'll talk to Alice about it now."

I darted into my room before Esme saw me, diving under the covers in a panic. I didn't want to talk about it then. I didn't want to talk about it at all, but I preferred to put it off rather than face it straight away.

"Alice?" Esme murmured softly, kneeling beside my bed. I focused hard so I didn't flinch. I wasn't very good at acting, but luckily I managed to pull off a believable performance. Esme gave up and left me alone without trying to wake me.

When I woke the next morning, Esme had gone grocery shopping. Jasper and the rest of the family were home for the weekend. I went downstairs and found Emmett watching the football on TV. He looked up at me and grinned.

"Come to watch the football?" he grinned. I giggled and sat beside him, allowing him to pull me onto his knee.

"I heard about what Jasper said to you," Emmett sighed, "That bitch of a girlfriend changed him."

I started to giggle again, relieved that I wasn't the only one thinking so badly of Maria.

"Don't talk about Maria like that," Jasper snapped from the doorway, and I cut my laughter short, my eyes wide in bewilderment, "It's none of your business about me and her."

"It is if it means you're leaving Alice out all the time," Emmett glared, "It is if you talk to Alice like she's nothing but a kid. I've seen her waiting for you."

"Then why didn't you go and see her then? She doesn't have to always be with me, you could make an effort too," Jasper's words left Emmett speechless, and he continued, "I was just going to apologise to Alice."

I stared at the floor and didn't say a word. I didn't like getting involved in arguments.

"Maybe she doesn't want you right now," Emmett stood up and took my hand, "Come on, Alice."

I followed Emmett from the room and glanced quickly at Jasper before going upstairs. Carlisle came out of his office as we passed it, and he gently took my shoulder.

"Ah, Alice," he smiled softly, "Would you come talk to me a moment?"

I widened my eyes of my own accord and clung to Emmett's hand.

You're not in trouble," Carlisle murmured, and Emmett gently let go of my hand.

"I'll be in my room," he pinched my cheek affectionately, leaving Carlisle and I alone. I unwillingly walked into his office.

"Jasper said last night that sometimes you go into his bed at night," he said quietly.

_I used to do it a lot. But I try not to now. I'm sorry._

"We're not angry at you, sweetheart," Carlisle could sense I was fighting tears, "We're just worried about you."

_I had nightmares about my mom. I don't get them much anymore._

Carlisle nodded, "Alright. Well if you do find Esme and I. We won't mind."

I nodded.

_Thanks_

Carlisle studied my face for a while, "Are you alright?" he asked softly, and just as I was about to nod, my eyes betrayed me.

"Hey," Carlisle sighed and moved to sit beside me, gently wiping away a tear, "I know what happened with Jasper too."

I nodded and leaned on him, closing my eyes tight as he hugged me gently.

"He'll come around. I know how much you mean to him, Alice."

I thanked him and left to go and find Emmett once I'd calmed down. To my despair, I heard a familiar, unwanted giggle. I ran to Emmett's room instantly, trying to get as far away from Maria as I could manage.


	22. Chapter 22

Emmett took me to the movie theater to see the latest Disney movie, and I was grateful to get away from the house for a while. He seemed terribly bored through most of the movie, but he didn't complain at all. I decided only the best brothers would sit through his least favourite type of movie to please their sisters.

We returned home, and while Emmett went to play Edward at a video game, I offered to help Esme cook the dinner.

"I haven't seen you all day!" she smiled as I came into the room. I thoroughly washed my hands, and then looked to her to be appointed a job.

"Alright, we're having lasagne today. Can you chop the vegetables for me?"

I nodded and warily took the knife from the drawer, beginning to chop up the tomatoes.

"Carlisle spoke to you, didn't he?" Esme looked over at me, "He said you should find us if you get scared, right?"

I blushed and nodded, too busy to note down an apology.

"We're not angry," Esme smiled at me, "Don't worry."

I saw Jasper stood in the doorway, and I wondered how long he'd been standing there. Esme looked over at me, then back at Jasper. I was unsure how to react.

"Alice, can we talk?" Jasper murmured, and I slowly put down the knife and followed him into the hallway. I was relieved that Maria appeared to have gone home.

"Maria's talking to Rosalie," he began, and I couldn't help but sigh in disappointment. Jasper purposely ignored it, "I thought I'd come apologise to you," he said quietly. I stared at my feet, and Jasper knelt down to me.

"I'm sorry I got angry at you. And I'm sorry for talking about you like I did," he took my hand gently. I wanted to pull it away.

"And I'm sorry for calling you "some kid", too. You're not some kid. You're so much more than that to me. You're," he struggled to find the words, "You're..."

"Jasper!" Maria skipped into my view. I pulled my hand away from Jasper's and backed away a little. She looked over and grinned at me, "Hey, Ali!"

I forced a smile back at her.

"What are you doing here?" Maria took Jasper's hand and pecked him on the cheek.

"I was just apologising to Alice," Jasper shrugged, "I said something that I didn't mean."

Maria smiled, "Well, how sweet of you," she took him by the collar of his shirt and kissed him, and to my disgust, he kissed her back. I turned and went to go back to the kitchen.

"Alice," Maria put a hand on my shoulder, "Come hang out with us?"

I wanted to say no, but I also wanted to say yes. Even if she was there, I had missed spending time with Jasper. I pointed to the kitchen and went back to help Esme finish making the meal.

I sat beside Emmett at the dinner table, feeling a little guilty as Jasper's disappointed expression. Rosalie came over to my seat.

"What is your problem?! You like taking my seat all the time?" she snapped, pulling my arm violently. Emmett glared and stood up, pulling me away gently.

"She sits where she wants," he said in a low, growling voice.

Maria was sat beside Jasper, holding his hand and moving her chair as close to his as she could manage. Rosalie went and sat on Maria's other side.

Emmett looked at me and smiled sympathetically.

"Are you alright?" he murmured.

_I guess._

As I handed over my note to Emmett, Maria and Rosalie snickered.

"I can't hear you," Maria said in a sing song voice as she sneered at me.

"Maybe you should write louder," Rosalie grinned at Maria as they both cackled. Jasper chuckled quietly.

"Quit it," Emmett almost yelled, just as Esme and Carlisle dished out the meals.

"Emmett, don't lose your temper," Esme muttered as she handed Maria her plate.

"Thank you so much for the meal, Mrs Cullen. It looks delicious! It's so kind of you," Maria smiled sweetly at her.

"That's quite alright, sweetie," Esme smiled back, "Alice helped me make it."

I thought Esme had said she didn't like Maria. She was being so nice to her. But then, Maria had put on a sweet disguise, I guess to gain Carlisle and Esme's approval.

"She did?" Maria looked at me, her expression excessively happy and full of patronisation, "Great job, Ali!"

I nodded, bowing my head in embarrassment. I hated her calling me Alice. That was what Mom's boyfriend called me. Emmett patted my back gently, and then began to eat.

Emmett and I went to the living room with Edward, and to our misfortune, Rosalie, Maria and Jasper decided to join us.

"Hey, Ali," Maria grinned at me, "How come your meal was the size of a kid's meal? Are you a little kid?"

I _did _have kid size meals, but that was because with my mom, she barely ate a thing and fed me even less than her. When she was with her boyfriend and I was living with them, he'd send me to bed without feeding me, or very occasionally he would lock me in my room. The doctors in the hospital said I had to slowly build my meals back up to normal size, or I'd throw up from eating more than my stomach could manage.

"No, she's just so underfed that she's the size of a six year old," Rosalie shrugged.

"Can't you just leave her alone?" Esme stood up threateningly, and I was scared that he was going to hurt someone. Even if it was to defend me, I didn't want him getting in trouble. Maria sat beside Jasper, practically on his knee, and clung to his arm. Her eyes were wide to portray terror, but still possessed the familiar evil glint in her eyes. Jasper shook her off and stood up as well, squaring himself up to Emmett.

"Leave Maria alone," he said in a low voice. He looked tiny compared to Emmett.

"Be careful, Jasper," Maria's voice was a mere squeak.

"Guys, come on," Edward sighed, looking at me briefly as I drew my knees to my chest.

"Not until she stops bitching to Alice," Emmett spat, "What the hell happened to you? First you couldn't get away from Alice, now it's like she has some sort of disease."

Rosalie snickered quietly, and Edward shot her a glare.

"Maybe I found someone more worth my time," Jasper snapped, and I let out an involuntary sob. Rosalie and Maria both smirked. As soon as he'd said it, Jasper realised what he had said and looked straight at me. I knew he hadn't meant it. He couldn't. He looked so guilty.

"Alice," he began, but was cut off as Emmett punched him straight in the jaw. Maria and I both screamed at exactly the same time, and I stood and escaped the room.


	23. Chapter 23

I heard someone follow me, and to my surprise, it was Edward.

"They fight more than you'd think," he shrugged, "They just haven't resorted to violence like that since they were about nine years old."

I sniffled and ran to him, hugging him tight without thinking if he'd accept it. He hesitated for a moment, but then hugged me back.

"It's alright, it's not your fault," he sighed quietly. I didn't have the strength to argue.

"I heard screams," Esme rushed over to us, and was quickly greeted by a large crash that caused me to cower into Edward. She was too distracted to notice me.

"Emmett and Jasper are fighting," Edward said calmly, "Emmett will crush Jasper to death if you don't hurry up."

A gasp of terror caught in my throat at his dark humour, and Esme glared at him.

"Please don't scare Alice like that," she sighed, looking at me sympathetically, "Sweetie, go to your room. Everything will be alright."

Edward led me to my room, promised everything would be fine, but then left me alone to go to his room. I lay on my bed for a while, staring up at the ceiling blankly until I heard my door open slowly.

"Ali?" Maria murmured, "Ali, it's me."

I cowered back into the corner of the bed.

"Hey, honey," she smiled, "I just came to see how you are."

She came and sat on the bed, "My poor Jasper's pretty hurt. He's got a bloody nose, and he's got a black eye."

I sighed, wiping fresh tears from my eyes.

"And that's all your fault," she whispered coldly, "Emmett punched Jasper because of you. So I hope you're happy with yourself."

I shook my head, eyes wide, and tried not to burst into tears.

"Just because you're jealous that he wants me and not you, it doesn't mean you can go getting people hurting him," she spat.

All her words were such lies. I lost control of my anger and attempted to hit her, but she grabbed my wrist and twisted it awkwardly until I surrendered.

"Here's the deal, kid. I leave you alone if you leave my Jasper alone. He doesn't need you. He needs me. Stay away from him. Understood?"

I didn't want to agree. Despite Jasper making his stupid mistakes, I was sure he'd apologise.

Maria took the photo of Mom and I from the side and smashed the frame, throwing it on the floor.

"No!" I blurted out by accident, and then cowered further as I began to sob reasonably loudly.

"So you do talk!" Maria grinned, "Now you can tell me if you understand or not."

I nodded, but that wasn't enough.

"No, Ali, you can talk. _Tell_ me," she growled harshly. I desperately didn't want her to destroy anything else in my room, and I so I began to consider just saying "yes". It wouldn't hurt.

Esme came into my room, and Maria grabbed me and forced me into a hug. She stroked my hair as I sobbed. I made no attempt to struggle.

"Poor Ali got scared from all the fighting!" Maria sighed dramatically and kissed my forehead, "She dropped her pretty picture of her mommy too."

Esme knelt down and took my photo in its broken frame from the floor, and Maria held me tighter. Her sharp nails dug into my skin, making me whimper.

"Oh, you poor thing," Esme sighed, "I'm sure I can fix this. Don't you worry about that. Are you alright, sweetie?"

I wanted to say no. I wanted to tell on Maria, but I couldn't. I was trapped so tightly in her grip that I was afraid I was going to suffocate to death if I tried anything. I nodded in defeat.

"I'll go see Jasper," Maria stood up, "I hope you feel better, Ali."

Esme smiled at her as she left, then sat beside me.

"I was wrong about her," she whispered, pulling me close, "She's a lovely girl."

I nodded forlornly and sighed.

"It's not your fault," Esme murmured, "Emmett has a quick temper. And he's very protective over you. He's never been that close to Rose, so I guess he likes having his own little sister around."

I nodded again. I wondered if she knew the reason for Jasper and Emmett's fight. I concluded she hadn't, because if she had she'd probably say it wasn't anyone's fault. She's too nice to blame me.

I struggled to sleep that night. I didn't want to go to Jasper. Even if Maria wasn't there, I wouldn't want to. Not anymore. Even if he hadn't meant what he'd said, he'd accidentally offended me too many times now and was too interested in Maria to notice me. That and I was scared of what Maria would do to me.

I was too afraid to go to Emmett and Edward's room either. I knew Emmett sometimes snored, and Edward was only just beginning to accept me. I would have only slept on the floor there, if anything. I knew Esme and Carlisle said to find them, but I was too afraid to see them too. I decided to stay put in my own bed and try to get to sleep by myself.


	24. Chapter 24

By morning, I'd only slept for a few hours. My head throbbed. Nausea had invaded my stomach and was constricting my throat. I didn't bother even getting up.

"Alice?" Esme peeked her head around the door, but then sighed at the sight of me, "You don't look very well, sweetheart. Do you feel okay?"

I shook my head and closed my eyes. I heard Esme come closer, and she sat on the bed and stroked my hair.

"My poor girl," Esme kissed my forehead, "You stay in bed today."

I dozed off while Esme stroked my hair, and I woke up to find Carlisle feeling my forehead.

"Her temperature is raised. Maybe it's a virus," he looked at Esme, then noticed I was awake, "Oh, good morning," he smiled, "How are you feeling?"

I didn't bother reaching for my notebook. I just shook my head.

"I'll make sure you drink plenty of water and get a lot of rest," he kissed my forehead; "You look exhausted."

Typically, sleeping was easier now during the day. I didn't know how long I'd slept for, but I woke to find Jasper sitting on my bed, rhythmically stroking my hair. He wasn't looking at me; he was staring at the floor. I noticed his bruised eye and felt fully responsible. I wanted the bruise to leave his face and appear on mine.

I pretended to be asleep. If I spoke to him or reacted to him, then Maria would get angry at me. I was asleep, I had no control over whether he saw me or not.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured, but he stood up as he heard footsteps.

"Leave her alone," Maria giggled childishly, "She's only sick, and you could catch it too!"

"I feel bad for her," Jasper sighed, tucking the covers further around me to keep me warm. Maria pulled him away gently.

"I don't like you being so close to her," Maria said in a simpering, childlike voice, "She made Emmett hurt you. I'd _never_ do that to you."

"It's not her fault, and I'm not going to stop spending time with her," Jasper said defensively.

"We'll see about that," Maria muttered, but then giggled theatrically and took his hand.

"I have to go. Thanks for letting me stay. Call me, alright?"

"Alright," Jasper's tone of voice changed, and I heard them kiss several times before leaving the room. I leapt up and ran to the bathroom to throw up. Jasper must have heard, as he ran and called for Esme. She was right by my side in an instant.

"Alice! Are you okay?!" she fussed, holding back my hair and wiping my mouth with a tissue, "Let's get you back to bed."

I clambered into my bed, and Esme placed a plain plastic bowl beside it along with a glass of water on the bedside table. Emmett came to sit with me through the whole day. He fetched me food and water and soothingly stroked my hair, placing a cold towel on my forehead to sooth my headache and to cool my temperature. Jasper came into my room, and Emmett stood up protectively.

"Go away," he snapped, and Jasper stood his ground for a second before giving in and leaving. I was relieved, although Maria probably wouldn't have been able to tell if I was with him. Unless Rosalie was her spy.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Emmett asked softly. I nodded slightly, the movement hurting my head. He lifted me up, along with my bed covers, and took me to his room. He got Esme to find the Disney movies they'd all watched as kids, and allowed me to select one. I chose several, and managed to stay awake during most of the films.

At night, Emmett took me back to my bed and kissed my forehead, sitting by me until I feel asleep. When I briefly woke in the night, I found that he was asleep on my floor. I felt satisfyingly secure.

My illness continued until the next weekend, where I finally gathered the strength to get out of bed. I hadn't seen Jasper at all. I guessed that Emmett had told him to stay away, or Emmett's first threat had scared him away since the fight.

Emmett slept by my bed every night that week, and once he was home from school, he would give me his full attention.

The weekend I began to recover was the same weekend that Emmett got sick too. He'd caught the virus from looking after me so intensely.

Once I'd recovered enough, I repaid Emmett for looking after me by looking after him myself. I brought him drinks and food and tucked him up in his bed, but I didn't sleep by his bed. Esme told me I didn't have to look after Emmett while he had time off school, but I insisted I did in return for his care over me.

I brought him a cold glass of water and sat on his bed, planting a kiss on Emmett's temple.

"Thanks, nurse," he smiled, then nudged me gently, "Go see Esme. I think she's missed spending time with you."

I hadn't seen any of the family very much when I was ill, as Emmett had seemed to ban everyone besides Esme and Carlisle from seeing me. Carlisle checked on me, and Esme did too while Emmett was at school. I'd been so tired that I hadn't been able to do anything with them. In honesty, I'd missed time with Esme too, and so I ran downstairs to look for her.

**Hey! Thanks SO much for all those reviews, now over 100! I am flattered :) I like reading your suggestions for the story, but in honesty I have this story planned out to pretty much the end. But sometimes I do take your ideas on board! Emmett punching Jasper hadn't ever crossed my mind - until someone said "I hope Emmett teaches Jasper a lesson" and someone else said "Jasper needs a punch in the face", and so I did! I hope you enjoy the story as it goes on, it gets sad, worse, better, sad, it's a bit of a rollercoaster!**


	25. Chapter 25

I found Esme in the garden, planting a few flowers. She looked up and smiled at me.

"Oh! Hey there," she smiled, "I'm almost done."

I watched her while I waited, and once she was finished she led me indoors.

"Was there anything you wanted to do?" Esme smiled, but I shook my head, "Have you done any sewing before?"

I shook my head again. I'd wanted to make clothes since I was quite young. Mom never bought me many clothes, so a lot of the time I was forced to squeeze into clothes designed for kids at least five years younger than me. Clothes that fit were always at least two years younger than my age, and due to rarely acquiring new clothes, I was often in tiny, uncomfortable clothes that didn't fit at all. This had been one of the causes for all the teasing I got.

"I think I have some spare material somewhere, if you'd like to try it," Esme thought aloud, "I used to make Rosalie little dresses all the time. She'd never go near one now."

She sighed wistfully, leading me upstairs to a room I'd never noticed or entered before. It was just down the hall from hers and Carlisle's room. It looked rather unused.

In the corner stood two different dressmaking dummies. One was child size, one was adult size. A sewing machine sat on the table. I looked around the room in awe.

"I was in here all the time when they were babies," Esme smiled, "Such beautiful babies."

_What did they look like?_

"Aww," Esme laughed, "You'll make me want more babies!"

I watched as she left the room, and she returned with a photo album. She sat me down at the sewing table.

"We took in Rose and Jasper first," Esme said quietly, "Me and their mother were like sisters. I'd known her since we were in elementary school. I was there when the twins were born."

She pointed to a photo of herself with a blonde woman, each of them holding one baby. Tears filled Esme's eyes, and she put an arm around me and rested her head on mine.

"And then I got a phone call six months later. Her and her husband had been involved in a car accident. They'd left Rose and Jasper with me while they were out," her voice cracked, and she wiped her eyes, "Their only relatives were their grandparents, two of them were too frail to bring them up, and the others didn't want to know. The poor things would have been sent to a family of strangers! I couldn't bear it. Carlisle and I had tried to have children for so long, without success. We'd paid thousands for treatment. I'd fallen in love with Rosalie and Jasper the moment I saw them, and I couldn't let them go, so I insisted they came to live with us."

She showed me photos of Jasper and Rosalie growing up. I couldn't help smiling at them, they really both were adorable. Especially Jasper, whose honey blonde hair was in soft, curled wisps and sticking up all over his head. A new baby joined the photos, and I didn't need Esme to tell me who it was.

"Carlisle treated your Mom when she'd just given birth to Emmett. She told him she wanted someone else to look after him, because she wasn't ready and was too ill. Carlisle immediately thought of me, but he wasn't sure if we'd be able to cope with a new little one. When he asked me, I became determined to try. The adoption services weren't very sure, seeing as we'd only had the twins for just over two months, but they gave in eventually."

She crooned softly over the photos of Emmett. His hair was a dark, curly mop, and he had chubby, dimpled cheeks.

"Gorgeous little thing," Esme sighed at the nostalgia, "Although he liked keeping us up at night. He cried about the slightest thing!"

_I did too._

"I can't imagine you being like that!" Esme smiled at me, "I imagined you as a very quiet baby. And very tiny!"

I nodded and excused myself for a moment, rummaging through my few belongings to find the small book my mom gave me the first time I was taken away from her. It contained a few photos of me as a baby, as well as photos of her and my dad. I never met my Dad, but Mom said I had inherited his eyes and sensitivity.

I showed Esme the photo of me on the day I was born. Esme cooed to the photo, stroking it like it was a real baby.

"Look at you! Just like your brother," Esme grinned at me, "So tiny. And so beautiful!"

_Big ears_, I reminded her.

"No, they're so sweet! And you've grown into them," she laughed quietly. I put the photos aside, as I could see she was desperate to continue her story.

"Just after Emmett joined us, a miracle happened," I was sure the tears had returned to Esme's eyes, "I found out I was pregnant."

There was a silent pause, and Esme squeezed me affectionately.

"I was worried at first. Worried that we'd favour our biological child over our adopted children. Unintentionally, of course. But I loved Rose, Jasper and Emmett so much that genetics didn't matter. They didn't complain about them being second best, because they weren't. Although, because he's the youngest, I guess I have babied him all his life."

Edward was a small baby. He had bronze hair right from birth, it appeared. And he was very popular among his siblings back then, juxtaposing the present. They all seemed to leave him too it now. I wasn't sure I'd really seen any of them talk to him, besides a negative remark. I felt bad for him. Perhaps I'd taken the attention away from him, and perhaps that was the reason he primarily resented me.

Esme stroked the photos again. This time, photos of all four of them together. Rosalie was often holding Edward protectively or had him sat on her knee.

"Aww, my babies," Esme murmured, wiping a few fresh tears away.

I admired Esme and loved her like a mother, but I couldn't help feeling like an outsider. She'd promised that I was special to them, but I wasn't, and wouldn't ever be, their baby. Not even really their daughter. I felt like I'd joined the family too late to qualify as that. I'd been so excited to join a real family, but after some of the recent events I wasn't sure how I felt anymore. I knew who was to blame. If Maria hadn't intruded on Jasper and I, and if she hadn't ripped me away from him, then I'd probably feel differently. I wished everything was like it had been, without her.


	26. Chapter 26

Esme taught me a few simple stitches on the sewing machine, and talked me through a pattern for a dress. It distracted me sufficiently, and I felt a lot better. Once everyone got home from school, Esme left me alone to greet them.

I began to experiment. I used different materials and stitches, and a few hours later I'd managed to put together a wearable skirt. The material had cherry patterns all over, and to my delight it actually fit me perfectly. I went downstairs to show Esme.

I found her talking to Rosalie. Jasper was also there, sitting on the couch. I froze. He smiled at me, and I couldn't help but look away. Rosalie scowled at me, and I hurried into the kitchen to escape before Esme noticed me. I filled a glass of water and ran upstairs to give it to Emmett.

"Thanks," he took a sip of water and put it down, "Don't spend all your time with me. Go on, go see Jasper or someone."

I nodded and kissed his cheek, then returned downstairs. Since them, Jasper had gone to his study and Rosalie to her room. Esme was in the kitchen, making herself a coffee.

"Oh! Hey sweetheart. Did you have fun sewing?"

I nodded and held out my skirt.

"Aww, its beautiful!" she smiled encouragingly, "Great job."

She kissed my forehead in praise, "We're going out to dinner later, for something different. I'll let you know when we're going."

I nodded in excitement and went to go upstairs, but stopped as I passed the living room. Piano music was coming from there. I'd always wondered who played that piano, as I'd never actually seen it being used. I found Edward sitting at the stool, and went to sit on the couch to watch him play. He looked over at me.

"Hey," he said quietly, taking his hands from the keys, "Are you alright?"

I nodded, _You're very talented._

"Thanks," he shrugged awkwardly, "Mom got the piano for me when I was seven."

He fondly stroked the piano a little before putting his hands on his knees, almost embarrassed at his own actions.

I envied him greatly. The most I'd got from my mom was $20 for my sixteenth birthday. I saved it for as long as I could, waiting for something worthy enough to be spent on, until it was stolen once I went back to the home. I never wanted to save money again.

"I could teach you something?" Edward suggested, and I sat next to him on the stool instantly. He played a few notes and watched as I copied. He'd then add on a few more notes, and again until he finished the whole tune. I practised it, gaining speed each time. Edward helped me if I made mistakes.

He went to do some homework, and I practised my small song and experimented to make new ones. It wasn't as successful as my sewing experiments.

"I heard Edward was giving you a little piano lesson," Esme said from the doorway, "Did he teach you to play something?"

I nodded and began to recite my tune, and Esme applauded me dramatically once I finished.

"Great job," she smiled, "We're going out soon. Would you like me to help you pick something to wear?"

I nodded, and she took my hand. She went into her closet, and came out with a sweet, polka dot dress with puff sleeves.

"Try it on. It was mine when I was your age...or younger. But you can have it!"

I went into the bathroom and found it fitted just right. I twirled in front of the mirror several times, giggling in delight. It really was beautiful. I skipped back to Esme and twirled for her.

"Aww, it looks lovely on you!" she smiled, gasping a little as I hugged her a little over excitedly.

"Oh!" she smiled, and I built up some courage.

"Thank you," I whispered, as quiet as I could, but at the same time trying to be heard. Esme gasped again.

"Did I just hear that sweet little voice?" she gushed, and I was surprised to find her getting tearful. At first, I was a little nervous. Getting people upset or annoyed was a factor for my silence. But when I actually thought logically, she wasn't upset. She was happy. Maybe even _proud_ of me. I didn't like over thinking about these things.

"Oh, Alice!" she smiled, holding me at arm's length, "I'm so proud of you!"

My opinions on over thinking, but also my thoughts about being an outside in the family, began to diminish from my mind.


	27. Chapter 27

Esme planted a kiss on my forehead and led me downstairs. Emmett had originally said he was going to join us for the meal, but after a few trips to the bathroom, he decided against it. I would have wanted to stay with him, but I was overpowered by the curiosity of trying new things. I'd never been to dinner at a restaurant.

Luckily, Esme didn't make a huge deal over my talking. She told Carlisle, and he gave me a hug. He smiled at me proudly, and I forgot all about the outsider thoughts I'd had earlier in the day. Esme and Carlisle were both so proud of me for making progress after years of attempted counselling and therapies I'd been forced to do in the home to make me speak. The only therapy I enjoyed was animal therapy, because it meant I got to hold rabbits and pet dogs as much as I liked.

The restaurant was very expensive and very formal. I felt a little lost without Emmett, and so I sat between Esme and Edward. Jasper sighed and sat beside his sister. Rosalie smirked at me. She muttered something to him, and he shot her a glare. I guessed it was about me.

Despite the initial appearance of the restaurant, they served things I would eat. In the end, I went with a kid's meal, enough to feed me, of chicken and chips.

I was the first to finish my meal, as usual, and sat quietly to listen to the conversations.

"Are we going away for Christmas this year?" Edward asked.

"Yes, honey," Esme smiled at him, "That Island off Rio de Janiero. Do you remember? We haven't been there for a few years."

"How long?" Rosalie asked, "Can Maria come?"

"We haven't decided yet," Carlisle murmured.  
"No friends, Rose. Just our family," Esme nodded a little, "Maybe another time?"

I hid my smile. I wanted my first Christmas to be memorable for being wonderful, not for being tormented.

"It's beautiful there," Esme turned her attention to me, "I think you'll like it. The beaches are great!"

I liked beaches. Mom only took me to beaches a few times, so I made the most of each time I went.

It seemed that for the past few years, the Cullens had been to a variety of different places for Christmas time. Carlisle had a lot of friends all over the world, and so he'd taken the family to stay with them. They mostly stayed with their friends in Denali, Alaska. The reason they weren't going this year was due to several different events going on in their lives that meant they couldn't make time to prepare for Christmas for two whole families. One of them was a month or two away from having a baby, another had just lost a boyfriend from a car accident, and one of them was preparing to get married. Esme said that once the baby was born and there was time to grieve over the loss, we'd probably go and visit them. I'd never held a baby before, and I hoped I'd be allowed to hold this new baby, although I'd be terrified of hurting him or her.

I was curious about what I'd get for Christmas, as I'd only ever got a few things, mostly boring things like pens, things for school that weren't presents at all. The only present I truly counted as a present was a set of tiny stuffed animals for my tenth birthday. Over time, they were lost, left behind or stolen, but my two favourites always remained safe in my protection. The rabbit and the bear were the softest, and had the happiest faces.

"Would you like dessert, sweetheart?" Esme interrupted me from my daydream about Christmas presents. I nodded, and after careful consideration of every choice, I pointed to the strawberry ice cream scoop.

"I think I'll have one too," Esme smiled, going to order everyone's desserts. I was surprised I was actually able to eat dessert, usually it was a struggle.

Jasper got his phone out and messaged someone, presumably Maria.

"Jasper, phone away," Carlisle frowned. Jasper ignored him and carried on. Carlisle rolled his eyes and held his hand out expectantly.

"_Jasper_," he repeated, "It's impolite."

Jasper shoved his phone in Carlisle's hand and uncharacteristically looked away and sulked. Served him right.

I ate my ice cream slowly, and noticed Jasper was watching me. Did I spill ice cream down myself? I became self-conscious. I avoided eye-contact and kept eating, managing to finish my dessert.

"Good girl," Esme nudged me gently, "You've done so well today!"

Carlisle smiled at me, and I blushed with pride. Rosalie groaned quietly and put on her coat.

When we got back, I began to make my way upstairs to see Emmett. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Alice," Jasper said softly, "Do you want to come to my study? I can help you with your work or something. Or anything."

I shook my head, terrified that Rosalie would tell Maria, and Maria would punish me somehow.

"What did I do?" Jasper called after me, "You've been avoiding me. Is it for what I said? Because I'm really sorry. I am."

I shook my head again. I hoped that would be the end of it. Unfortunately not.

"Why, then? Suddenly I'm unimportant," Jasper looked hurt. I panicked. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell him about Maria, he wouldn't believe me anyway.

_I don't know._

I fought tears.

"You don't know?" Jasper frowned, "Has Emmett put you up to this? Told you some lie to scare you away from me, so he can have you all to himself? You look at me like I'm going to murder you or something."

I shook my head again, escaping upstairs before he could stop me.


	28. Chapter 28

Before I knew it, it was Christmas break and we were getting ready for our vacation to the Island Esme told me about. She helped me pack my clothes and bought me things like sunglasses to take with me. She took me to buy a bathing suit, and I was embarrassed to find I had to get one from the kids section. The only one that wouldn't humiliate me was a plain black one.

The night before we left, I'd heard Jasper talking about me with Esme. They were in the kitchen at around nine at night, when Esme was making herself and Carlisle a coffee.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" Esme turned and smiled at him. He poured himself a glass of water, "I haven't seen you with Alice recently, is everything okay?"

I'd been spending time with Edward, who'd helped me out with my work, and taught me a few more pieces on the piano, and Emmett, who had quickly recovered and taken me out a lot. He took me to see Bambi, who at first was afraid of him. Once he gave her a few carrots, she realised he was no danger to her and allowed him to pet her.

I'd avoided Maria well when she was here, mostly by sticking with Emmett. I knew she'd only threaten me or be horrible if I was alone.

"Ever since that fight with Emmett, she's avoided me. If I look at her, or ask if she wants to do something, she looks at me like she'll be punished."

"Maybe she's worried that you and Emmett would fight again. She's a very sensitive girl," Esme sighed quietly.

"I guess it didn't help that suddenly I started spending time with Maria…and I said a lot of things I didn't mean," Jasper nodded to himself.

"Go talk to her," Esme smiled in his direction, "See how she feels."

"I did. She just said she didn't know," Jasper sighed.

"Then try again. And don't get annoyed at her if she doesn't answer properly, that's why she gets scared," Esme raised an eyebrow, "She panics if you get impatient."

I darted up to my room, just as Jasper left the kitchen. I should pretend to be asleep. Do anything, so he won't ask to talk.

But then I thought again. Thought about _myself_, not what everyone else would think. I missed Jasper. I missed him so much, despite his stupid mistakes. He'd welcomed me here. He'd helped me settle in. He still cared about me, even with a girlfriend.

I didn't care, for once, about what Rosalie would know and tell Maria. As long as she didn't isolate me, most likely I'd be alright. Jasper had already made it clear to her that he wouldn't give me up for her. Her threats couldn't hurt me, could they? I chose not to think about that.

There was a knock at the bedroom door, and as I opened it, I leapt at Jasper in a hug. I'd forgotten how much I loved his hugs. I loved Emmett's tight and loving hugs, and Esme's gentle and affectionate hugs too, but Jasper's were different. My whole body seemed to warm up. He didn't attempt to squeeze the life out of me, but he didn't hold me at arm's length either. He just held me close, one hand on the back of my head, and the other on my back. I felt safe.

"I'm sorry," Jasper murmured, and I led him to sit on the bed, "For everything I've done. I never wanted to hurt you."

_I know. I'm sorry for avoiding you._

I gave it to him, but then added some more to it.

_I was scared of intruding on you and Maria. _

Jasper shook his head, "You wouldn't. She doesn't really like me spending time with you, and I think it's because her last boyfriend cheated on her. She's just a bit insecure. But I told her that I wouldn't give you up. She wants to be friends; maybe you can go shopping together or something."

I absolutely detested that idea, but was forced to say,

_I'd like that._

Jasper nodded, "Great. I'll tell her."

He smiled at me softly, "Get some sleep. We're leaving early tomorrow," he kissed my forehead and tucked me in bed, putting my night light on for me before leaving the room.

Esme woke me the next morning at 6am.

"Good morning, sweetie," Esme whispered, "You need to get ready, we're going soon."

I got up slowly, and I was assisted with getting ready, including dressing myself. I was so half asleep that I couldn't concentrate on anything.

"You go sit in the living room while I round up the others, and help Carlisle get the bags," Esme smiled at me sympathetically, "Aww, you look so sleepy, sweetheart."

I curled up on the couch, cuddling a cushion, and woke up to find myself in Carlisle's car. Jasper was beside me, and Edward was in the front beside Carlisle. I guessed Rosalie and Emmett were in Esme's car.

"Hey," Jasper looked at me, "We found you sleeping on the couch, so I carried you to the car. Emmett put up a bit of a fight…"

He smiled a little smugly at that, and I couldn't help but giggle.


	29. Chapter 29

The sky was still dark when we got the airport in Seattle. I clung to Jasper's hand as we entered the large building, tugging my suitcase behind me.

Esme accompanied me through check in and passport control, talking on my behalf. Carlisle had sorted a passport for me very quickly, although it contained a horrible photo of me inside. The terrifying woman at the passport desk seemed disapproving of my lack of speech, but eventually let Esme and I through.

Esme bought me some orange juice and gummy bears to keep me going until the flight. I sat on a bench with Jasper and Emmett on either side of me, and shared the gummy bears with them. For once, they made an effort to not rip each other's throats out.

_I want to spend time with you both._

I showed them both the note.

_I'll be unhappy if you fight again. Be friends._

Jasper cracked a smile and raised an eyebrow at Emmett.

_And don't ignore Edward. He's lonely. He's your brother too._

"He prefers to be alone. He always has," Emmett shrugged, "Though I guess we kinda act like he's not there."

I glanced over at Edward, sitting alone and reading a book, listening to his iPod.

"Edward," Jasper called to him, "Come join us."

Edward hesitated, and was about to shake his head, but changed his mind and came over. I grinned at him, offering him a gummy bear.

"Thanks," he nodded, picking out an orange one.

I waited patiently for Emmett or Jasper to make conversation with him, but was left a little disappointed. He seemed happy enough reading though.

I took a while who I'd sit next to while on the plane, not wanting to upset Jasper or Emmett or cause another argument. I then realised that the plane had three seats on each row. Emmett sat me in the middle and let Jasper sit on my other side. I was relieved that they were cooperating.

I didn't realise how scary planes were until it took off. I stayed pinned back in my seat, eyes wide and clinging to Jasper's arm tightly. Emmett was laughing at me.

"Scary enough for you?" he grinned, "Stopped circulation in Jasper's arm for long enough?"

I let go of Jasper's arm and giggled, blushing a little. Jasper laughed quietly to himself.

"Rose used to be like that," he smiled at me, and I heard her groan from behind us, "And Esme. You're definitely not the first."

I ended up falling asleep again. I clearly wasn't compatible with early mornings. Unfortunately, no one carried me from the plane to the rental car. Emmett gently shook me awake, and allowed me to almost sleep while walking by leaning on him. We sat together in Esme's rental car, with Jasper in the front.

"Someone's still sleepy, I think," Esme smiled at me through her mirror's reflection, "You can have a nice, long rest once we get there."

She then gasped and cursed under her breath. She attempted to conceal it by clearing her throat.

"I didn't get them to sort out a room for you!" Esme's eyes were wide, "Don't worry, honey. We'll sort it all out. Maybe you could share with Rose…"

"No," Emmett and Jasper said, practically in unison.

"She's horrible to Alice," Emmett shook his head, "Alice can take my bear, share with Jasper. I'll go on the couch or something."

Emmett smiled at me and squeezed me gently.

"Is that alright with you both?" Esme asked, looking at Jasper and I in the reflection. We both nodded, "Well! All sorted then. Thanks, Emmett."

"Just looking out for my baby sister," Emmett grinned at me, gently mussing up my hair.

Emmett helped me get onto the boat to the island. It wobbled and bobbed on the water, and I almost struggled to stand to begin with. Once the boat was in motion, I struggled to keep my breakfast down, but managed to survive the crossing in one piece.

The house was completely ready for us. The fridge was stocked with food, the beds were made. Everything looked perfect. Part of me didn't want to leave, and this was partly due to the unpleasant boat ride. Jasper took me to our, formerly his and Emmett's room to put my bags down.

"You can get some rest, if you like," Jasper nodded, "You look a bit green."

_I don't think I like boats._

Jasper smiled, "It'll pass, just go lie down."

_Stay with me?_

He hesitated, "Maria wouldn't like that," he sighed, but then shook his head, "She's not here. And besides, we're not _doing_ anything."

That last comment made me smile. He was right, why would Maria be so cautious and insecure about Jasper caring for another girl?

I lay on the bed, and Jasper sat beside me. I wondered if Jasper was so cautious about Maria because our feelings were mutual. Maybe he was afraid to admit it in case I didn't feel the same. Maybe I should ask. I could. Although it would hurt if he didn't. I was afraid I really was just a kid to him. An adopted sister. Maybe he only looked out for me because I was small and sensitive. Maybe he felt sorry for me. I gently tugged on his sleeve, forcing the words out.

"I…" I began, and then seemed to freeze. Jasper watched me expectantly, but then his phone rang.

"Sorry," Jasper took out his phone. I wasn't surprised to find it was Maria. I ignored him and blocked him out, until he hung up.

"Sorry, darlin', what were you trying to tell me?" Jasper sat on the bed again. I shook my head forlornly.


	30. Chapter 30

Once I felt better, Jasper and I went for a walk along the beach while Emmett snored loudly on the couch and Rosalie and Edward stayed in their rooms. Carlisle and Esme had just started on dinner.

I held onto Jasper hand as we walked. He didn't mind, and I felt better about Maria's interruption. Jasper still cared about me, and that was most important to me at that moment.

"Have you been to a beach like this before?" Jasper asked, sitting me down on the warm sand. I explained about the few trips with my mom to him.

"Well, you can spend all the time you like on the beach while we're here."

I spent at least one hour on the beach each day, building small sandcastles and paddling in the shallows of the turquoise water. Other activities included hiking, and one night we went camping on the beach, just outside the house. Jasper and I shared a tent, and he helped me get to sleep. I struggled sleeping in a tent, as the only time I remembered camping was with my mom and her boyfriend, who exiled me to a tent on my own during a windy night while they shared their own tent. I hadn't slept at all then.

Jasper and I grew close again. He made allowances for me to be with Emmett too, who would take me to the pool almost every day. He held me on his back and pretended he was a "dolphin", bobbing in the water. I couldn't help but feel like he was treating me childishly, but I acted excited to please him. I adored him for his affection.

Jasper and I always went for a walk along the beach every night, right up to Christmas Eve. I held his hand, and it almost felt as if Maria didn't exist at all. We sat on the sand, and I sprinkled the soft grains through my fingers as we watched the waves.

"I really screwed up, right?" Jasper sighed, after a few minutes silence, "As soon as I met Maria I just…I ignored you! And I really should never have done that. This vacation showed me that."

I looked up at him in slight awe.

"I realised how much I missed you. I have. You mean so much more to me than I realised."

I wasn't thinking. I did something stupid. I went into some idiotic fantasy that everything would be okay. My lips touched his, and it was all too late.

I expected Jasper to pull away, to revoke everything he'd sad. I was mistaken. He put a hand on my cheek and kissed me back. In the corner of my eye I was sure I saw Rosalie watching.

Jasper suddenly realised what he was doing and pulled away, staring at me in disbelief. My eyes filled with tears. There was a long silence.

"I'm sorry," Jasper whispered, "I can't…"

I nodded, staring at the floor with tears dripping down my cheeks. Humiliation and devastation caused me to shrink in on myself, although to be honest I had no idea what I was trying to achieve when I kissed him. I hugged my knees to my chest.

"Alice," Jasper reached and put a hand on my shoulder.

_I wasn't thinking. I was being stupid. I'm always stupid. I'm so sorry. I am. I'm really sorry. You'll hate me._

I started crying properly then. Jasper sighed and hugged me tight.

"No, no," he shook his head, "You're not stupid and I don't hate you. Not at all. It doesn't change how I feel about you. It's just…" he sighed, his eyes widening, "If Maria found out we'd both be in trouble."

Trouble? Was Maria horrible to him too? Did she make him act all cold and say horrible things to me, or had he been so cold because he was scared she'd find out? I suddenly became suspicious. His eyes were a little fearful. From what I could tell, he was just as scared of her as I was.

We both went to be reasonably early, although I struggled to sleep due to considering everything I could about Maria and Jasper's strange relationship.

**Sorry for the really short chapter – it's just that the next part is Christmas Day so would be a natural place to stop anyway! Feels weird writing about Christmas when it's almost summer… Anyway, hope you enjoyed and please review! **


	31. Chapter 31

I woke up at about 6am in excitement. My first Christmas with my new family.

I noticed a small stocking n the end of my bed, along with one on Jasper's bed too. As quietly as I could manage, I took the stocking from the end of the bed and reached inside.

"Happy Christmas, darlin'," Jasper smiled at me, without me even realising that he'd woken up, "There'll be a couple small things in there," he nodded to the stocking, "The bigger presents will be under the tree downstairs."

I went to get my suitcase, and dug through my clothes to find the card and present I'd got for Jasper. I'd given the rest of the presents for everyone to Esme to put under the tree, but I'd got two presents for Jasper, and I wanted to give him one alone.

"Thanks, darlin'," he said softly as I gave it to him, then hesitated a moment, "I got you a little something extra too."

He presented me with a rectangular wrapped box. I gestured for him to open his card and present first.

I'd got Esme to take me to the bookstore to get something for him. I had picked up on his interest in history, especially the Civil War, due to the amount of DVDs, books and TV shows he had on it. Esme led me to a huge book on it that she assured me he didn't own. It looked daunting to me, but I hoped that he'd like it. His face lit up at the sight of it.

"Woah," he whispered, "I've wanted to get this for so long! How did you know?"

Now I realised why Esme had steered me in that book's direction. I smiled proudly.

_I thought you'd like it._

"Thanks!" Jasper smiled at me, pulling me close. He took a few minutes to read the Christmas card that I'd written a few nights ago, and smiled.

"Open yours, and then we can start on the stockings," he grinned childishly at me. I guessed he enjoyed Christmas a lot. I opened my presents slowly, and gasped at the contents. A collage of photos of Mom and I, in a large, plain white frame. I looked up at him with tears in my eyes.

"Esme got me the photos," Jasper murmured, "I'm not sure where she got them."

I knew. She must have taken my little photo album, the one I showed her when she showed me the baby photos. I didn't care at all. I stared at my collage, but my eyes blurred from the tears.

"I thought you'd like something like this to remember your Mom by," he said quietly, "You could-"

He didn't finish his sentence, as I threw myself at him in a hug. He let out a small gasp as we almost fell off the bed.

"I didn't want to upset you," Jasper sighed, stroking my hair as I cried, "I'm so sorry."

I shook my head, my hands shaking too much to write.

"I miss…" I whimpered, "Her…"

It was my first Christmas without her. Even though I didn't get much, she always made Christmas fun. Even with her boyfriend around, I enjoyed Christmas to an extent.

"I know," Jasper kissed my forehead, but not knowing what else to say. I clung to him and rested my head on his chest.

"Thank you," I managed to say, although it was very slow.

"You're welcome," Jasper smiled, stroking my cheek.

We sat in silence, and Jasper held me until I'd calmed down. He kissed my cheek and held up my stocking.

"Open them," he smiled, "All I'll have is underwear and socks. Maybe pens, if I'm lucky."

I picked up my first present, a small, soft thing with a strange shape. A small bear was inside, the letter "A" sewn on its paw with pink thread.

"Ah," Jasper nodded, "When all of us were adopted, or in Edward's case, when he was born, Esme made us a bear with our initial. I still have mine somewhere, I think we all do."

I stared at the bear and smiled.

"You're truly a part of the family," Jasper smiled at me, "Esme wouldn't make that bear for just anyone unless she really cares for them."

I kissed the bear's soft fur and gently laid it on the bed so I could open the rest of my stocking presents. Jasper and I both received socks and pens, but also a small box of chocolates each.

At seven, we made our way downstairs to find Esme and Carlisle making breakfast.

"Happy Christmas!" Esme squealed, running and hugging Jasper and I, "Emmett's pretty much opened all his presents already, you may as well go and join him in the living room!"


End file.
